The ultimate joke book

Funny advice from little children

My shout outs are for The_darkest_hour, jawwnandsherlyy, CooCooWolfies, tayloryuill_taylz and ZeeAwesomeWun.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Never tell your mum her diet's not working.

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.

When your mum is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

Never hold a duster and a cat at the same time.

Felt tips are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mum when she's on the phone.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Never try to baptize a cat.

What little kids think love is...

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cream and they go out and smell each other.

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.

Love is like a little old woman and a little old men who are still friends even after they know each other so well.

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

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