The ultimate joke book

Funny, Cute, Crazy pick up lines for what girls should say to boys

@teabella909 gave me this idea so everyone please go and check teabella's books out.

My shout outs are for YoureCoollBruh, Hunter_Of_ArtemisXD, XxXHowGirlzThinkXxX, XxSuicideSallyxX and DemonicOv.

Hey, I'm going for a walk. Would you hold this for me? (then hold out your hand)

Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my number, I don't have herpes.

Ever been inside a Wendy's after hours?

Do you have a map? Because I'd like to find my way into your heart.

Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?

I'm not a doctor, but I'll take a look anyway.

Do you believe in love at first sight? 'Cause I can't see with my eyes.

Did we go to different schools together?

Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?

What pickup line actually works on you?

You should come over and check out my extensive collection of Chili's coasters.

You remind me of my big toe - I'd bang you on the coffee table!

Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date?

I'm glad I'm not blind!

Can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.

If I got a pound for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have five pounds for you.

You stole my heart. That's OK, though - I have another one at home in the fridge.

Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

Honey, you give new meaning to the defintion of 'edible'.

You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

My mom told me that life is like a deck of cards, so you must the be queen of hearts.

You know what would make your face look better? (What?) My legs wrapped around it.

"I hear you're good at algebra.....Will you replace my eX without asking Y?"

Boy if you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber

Do you sleep on your stomach? Him: NO... You: Can I?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

Hi, did your license get suspended for driving all these girls crazy?

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

I don't need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.

Boy is your name homework because I'm not doing you and I should be.

My beaver is bored and wants to play, do you have any wood for my beaver today.

Are you David Beckham? Because I'd bend for you.

"Hi, i'm writing a phone book, can I have your number?"

Are you a trampoline cuz I wanna bounce on you?

What's a nice guy like you doing with a body like that?

They're called "eyebrows" cus my eyes are browsin your fine ass

Aren't you the guy who gets fan mail from Ron Jeremy?

"I'd like to point out that "beautiful" has U in it. But, 'quickie' has U & I together."

Boy, are you the tiger from the Frosted Flakes box? Because you're looking "Grrrrreat!"

Baby you be the tree, and I'll wrap around you like a koala bear

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause' you got fine written all over you.

Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for.

You don't need car keys to drive me crazy.

Are you a smoke detector? Cause you're really loud and annoying.

Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

Hi! I'm Craven Morehead are you?

You know what would go good on ur hot dog? Mayo

Do you eat tacos? (yes, why?) Because my Taco Bell is open

Put £10 on your head and when he asks what you did that for tell him its all you can eat for under a pound.

Are you a burger cuz you can be the meat between my buns

I'm wearing Revlon Colorstay Lipstick, want to help me test the claim that it won't kiss off?.

I know you think im sexy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line

I will be a Dixie Chick and you be my cowboy... now take me away!

I may not be Dairy Queen, baby, but I'll treat you right!

Could you please step away from the bar ? You're melting all the ice

Are you a dictionary? (Why?) Because you just gave me the definition of Gorgeous.

You're so hot ; a firefighter couldn't put you out .

You want to melt in my mouth or in my hand?

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