The ultimate joke book

Funny insults 3

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Outfit

Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just throw up!

Intelligence

They can't measure your intelligence. The scale won't go that low.

Deceiving

Appearances can be deceiving.

Smelly

I think you stepped on something smelly. Like your feet!

Nicer looking legs

I've seen tables with nicer looking legs than yours.

Perfect

Your mouth's the perfect size... for your foot.

Baboon

I've seen a nose like yours before, but it looked better on the baboon.

Hair

Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like, wash it.

Intelligence

You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.You'll never use your mind.

Blind date

You've made this date I won't forget... no matter how hard I try.I know why they call this a "blind date." Because now that I've seen you, I wish I were blind.

Nappies

You're like disposable nappies...always getting dumped.

Alphabetically

''What are you doing Friday night?'' ''Trying to forget you just asked me that.''"What's has he got that I haven't?" "You want it alphabetically?"

Knowledge

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, you just gargled.

Outside

Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.

Walk

You tell people you live just up the street from the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.

Slogan

You inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Speechless

If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.

Frozen juice

You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate".

Wrinkles

One more wrinkle and you'd pass for a prune(dry grape).

Live

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

Idiot

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Stupid

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

Freak show

I heard you went to a freak show and got in for free.

Planet of the apes

You look like you just escaped from planet of the apes.

Family tree

Your family tree is nothing but a rest stop for dogs.

Old

You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.

Ocean

You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.

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