Forced to be Yours [ Y.J.W ]

45.

Miso's Pov

Today just feels so...

Irritating.

I feel like I should remember something but not quite getting the idea of what is it.

Am I forgetting something that I shouldn't?

Right now, I was on my way to the salon to get my hair cut since I've already skipped school because of my typical behaviour last night.

I mean who drinks on a Tuesday knowing that we have school the very next day?...I do.

Our school trip is on Friday with whatever camping shit they've prepared, meaning going to school tomorrow and then the trip.

It would be fun if soojin was here but she went to Canada sadly to visit her aunt, ah I'm so lonely... don't get me wrong hyunjin and his friends have been keeping me company and I couldn't be happier yet this empty feeling inside that doesn't leave.

It keeps itself inside me, I know what I want but my pride just doesn't let me have it, it wants to be apologised and its not going to let me live freely if it doesn't get what it wants , that's what I hate about my self.

My fucking pride.

I entered the salon and my hair stylist greeted me cheerfully, I'm sorry but I'm really not in the mood I just want to get rid of my hair as fast as possible.

Something about them annoys me.

I was never a long hair person,my hair had always been short I don't know what came over me to let them grow yet now I just found it weird that my hair is so long.

I don't like it.

She asks me my preference and after hearing, she widens her eyes a bit "do you want it to be that short? Your hair's beautiful though.." she said taking out all the things she needed.

"I just really need to get rid of my hair for now" I said my voice trailing off a bit as my bitchy face remained the same.

I watched as she cut my hair, it feels so good having removed what burdens you... yes the long hair burdens me.

Wish I could do that to my pride as well- I want to cut it off not wanting to feel it yet I just can't seem to let go of it.

I have been the only person who was with me and supporting for the past ten years and my pride is what kept me going, my pride only grew, never lessened but now... it feels like a burden.

I watch as she mercilessly cuts off my hair my face forming a satisfactory smile as she tells me she's done.

"You still look so pretty" she cooed, yeah I have a hair stylist who drools over me "how is it going with your husband?" She said putting her things away, my expression darkened "still together" she just scratched her head awkwardly.

With that I walked out of the hair salon, fuck my moods even worse then before now, why the fuck did she had to talk about him.

A low groan escape my lips, I just walked and as I did I came across a flower shop, my tracks came to a halt as I stared at the flower shop.

I went inside "Hey.. can I get a banquet of roses?" I said to the person behind the counter.

"Sure! Do you want to be put in a meaning?" She asked, I nodded my head.

"Can we go with 'I miss you'?" I said with a low voice, the girl smiled and did her work.

"You had a fight with your boyfriend?" The girl was just around my age maybe older by 2-3 years, so she was really comfortable in talking.

I looked at her "I-I lost my boyfriend" my voice broke a little but I quickly composed my self.

"Oh.. I'm sorry, you have a ring on your hand so I thought.." she didn't say anything further.

Ring? I looked to my left hand to see my wedding ring on my hand, what? When did I put this on? I'm seriously just lost these days.

"Yeah..I actually got married" I said smiling sadly "these flowers are for my late boyfriend who passed" I explained as she covered them neatly.

"Uh huh... arrange marriage?" She said looking at me as I slowly nodded, she chuckled a little "you seem like you like your husband then" she said handling the flowers to me.

"W-what?" I wasn't expecting that.

"You seem kinda sad.." she inspected my expression "you had a fight with him?" "Can she read minds?" I mumbled to my self but her laugh made me snap out of it.

"No I can't, I just happen to be really quick with these things" She said now leaning on the table.

I just looked down, I can't just meet her gaze yet I feel as if I can trust her, she's beautiful though, her hair is dyed and she has many ear piercings and there's a tattoo on her shoulder.

"So, you fought?" She asked again, I slowly nodded.

"May I ask about what?" When she said that I brought my face up to look at her, she didn't seem like the type to hurt me.

Can't believe I'm about to do this.

"He Um.. happened to sleep with someone right on the day we came from Japan... he kissed me there" I mumbled the last part but she heard it.

She seemed to be in thoughts for a moment "you know it might not be what it seems like" she said.

I'm trying to convince myself too.

"But..he's not even explaining" I said clearly puzzled, "did you ask him calmly?" That's when it hit me, that day I was in the heat of the moment and too harsh.

"I did ask.. but not so calmly" I said a little awkwardly "you know... I had a friend of mine and he got in the same situation.." she started.

"He got drunk and happened to sleep with another girl who he thought was his girlfriend, his girlfriend left him and all he could do was regret that he couldn't explain earlier" she said. Wow..that's sad.

"Whatever you do.. don't leave him without him explaining" she said "I don't know what it feels like but my friend was devastated, he fell into depression, cried everyday... drank till he passed out, ha... I felt it even though it didnt happened to me" she sounded sad.

I thought about it, she's right, I shouldn't just get to conclusions without hearing an explanation.

"Lets just say, your husband happened to have a moment like that but do you think he would something like that?" When she asked that I let out an immediate answer "No".

"See, you didn't even hesitate, it might have something more to it" I nodded.

I smiled "thank you..that really helped" she smiled "any time by the way I love your hair" she pointed out to my freshly cut mid-neck length hair.

"Thank you, I actually just had it cut" I smiled, she's a wonderful person no doubt.

"I'll go now, I'll see you again hopefully" I said smiling.

"Yeah kid anytime, I'm here" her smile is just comforting.

With that I left for the person who layed six feet under ground.

My late boyfriend who left another person in my life who I happen to adore.

I wish things with jungwon turn out nicely.

It would be nice.