Chasing Liaison

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                                                Liaison Chapter 31

With my eyes close, I kiss Corey because I don't know what the hell I just agreed to, or why. All I know is, I'm exhausted. This man is forever breaking down my walls, and I'm so tired of fighting him.

His lips are soft when I brush mine against his and I feel his emotions seeping into me. Giddy, I can't stop the little noises from escaping as he takes over and demands more.

What am I doing, I can't do this. Doubts begins to run through my mind while his kisses steal pieces of me. He had my trust before, although not fully, and he betrayed it, when he went behind my back to snoop in my past.

I wonder how much he knows about me. What was his reaction when he read about those things that happened to me. Does he know that I'm faulted and won't be able to give him the ultimate.

What happens when he sees that I cannot fulfill him, when he sees that I'm not able to give him all the things that he's asking from me.

"Liaison, I can hear you thinking, I can feel your hesitation. Your body and face give away everything that's going on in that pretty little head. I want you to let go. Give in. Don't think so much."

When I open my eyes, he is staring at me like some sort of wonder so I drop my face in the crook of his neck to hide.

Curving his neck, he looks down at me. "I know you're scared. You don't have to be. Not with me Liaison. I got you."

Any woman hearing that coming from a man who is trying to woo her, would have loved it, but I'm wired differently, fucked in the head. Those words are my trigger and it sets me off immediately.

"Liaison, you're shaking what's wrong?"

Even though I know it's Corey's hands on me, my mind is playing dirty tricks. I begin to think of Nate, and his sleazy friends touching me.

"I got you. There's nowhere to run or hide. There's nowhere you can go where we won't find you. Come out and finish our game. There's only two of us left."

Nate's grating voice is mocking me, and no matter how hard I shake my head; I can't seem to get him out but then the sound of Corey's voice booms through the darkness in me. He's telling me to take deep breaths so I cling to his voice and do.

I draw deep breaths in through my nose then steadily blow it out through my pursed lips and after a time, my chest loosens and my lungs expands chasing the darkness away.

"You're having a panic attack. Just breath baby... breath."

Corey's comforting voice is like a map and I let it guide me the rest of the way. When I focus again, I'm on the floor with my back pressed up against the desk. I don't know how I got on the floor, but Corey's down here taking deep breaths with me.

He's watching me , and I get embarrassed that he saw another one of my attacks, so I drop my head between my knees as my eyes start to sting with tears.

"I'm sorry," I quietly say.

"Don't be. Do you want to talk about it?" he asks softly and I shrink with shame.

If we talk, I will have to tell him things that I'm not ready to talk about. Things that are driving me insane.

"No."

"Liaison, you have to."

At that I push him away then use the edge of the desk to pull myself up. "No! You don't get to come in here and demands things from me. Go away Corey, get out!"