Seoul nights • Woosan

Thirty-four.

"Lisa, be serious, please! This relationship isn't good for any of us. Just sign the divorce papers and let's get it over with" I decided to not hold back anymore, I was tired of pretending to be someone I was not.

"Have we really got to this point? Was I not good to you? Did I do something wrong?" she was crying.

"We're not happy together"

"Is not about our happiness, San! Just be honest for one time, you're tired of me. You haven't even tried, we've been married for just over a year"

"Whatever you say, I want this divorce" I was resolute.

"San, we're adults, marriage is not a game, aren't you being a bit hasty?"

"No Lisa, I've had my time to think things through and marrying you was a mistake from the beginning. I don't love you"

But it was like talking to a wall. For weeks she tried her best to save what we had. She started cooking romantic dinners, during which she took my hand and said she loved me. She was sweeter, more clingy, she tried her best to have time for me, but soon she realized it was not enough. After a month or so Jongho called me saying that Lisa had wiped out 60 million won from our account. 60 million was the maximum amount she could withdraw. So she was moving fast and I had every intention of solving the matter even faster than her.

One night I faced her once again saying that we were done.

"You're doing all this for Wooyoung, aren't you?" she asked me point-blank after yet another argument.

"Don't you dare say his name!" I shouted.

"I knew I had to compete with someone ever since we started dating, but I never expected to have a man as a rival" she scoffed "The first time I saw him with you I knew something was off, but I would never expect all this"

I didn't answer trying to keep my shortness of breath at bay.

"I do love you, San. I know you have a problem, do you realise this isn't normal? He's a man! But I forgive you! I already have and I tried all I could to help you to overcome your problems, but you... You want a divorce!"

"You know nothing! You don't give a shit about me, I..."

"You? You, what? What have you ever done for me? It's always you. You, you, you!" she was yelling out of her wits "When have you ever worried about me? About what I wanted? When I asked you if you would come with me to my parents for once, you told me that you weren't used to Thailand's weather. At our wedding my father and mother came from so far to see me and when I asked you to take a day to be with them, you replied that you didn't have time. How many days off did you ask for to be with Wooyoung, huh? Do you think I don't know?"

She started sobbing, "I love you, I tried not to think about all the times you hurt me, I kept believing that my love for you could have moved you, but you? Have you ever felt responsible for me? I was with you at your stupid gatherings, I laughed with your associates, I was nice to your employees, I fucking entertained you! Have you ever thought at what I wanted? I didn't want your money, but what else could I get? Where are your feelings? You never even gave me a sex life"

"And you?" I yelled back, "You make it sound like I'm the monster. What about your mistakes? What about what you did?"

"Then you admit you hate me for that email thing! I did nothing wrong. As a wife I had to defend my husband and my family"

"You ruined it all! Did you think at what could have happened to him?"

"Oh, please! Don't let me blow chunks! One more or one less of people like him, what difference does it make?"