Unspoken Vow [Namjoon FF] [SOF Prequel 0.3] ✔

Chapter 23

Future me,

Its been 2 months since I met my friend. She takes me with her friends on adventures, as she calls them. In the park, in a zoo, visiting different shops. She stays with me and talks a lot.

I told her to tie her hair when we go out because if she doesn't, the wind tangles it all up and she cries when one of her friends try to comb it plain.

I know the way I spoke was short, but she still smiled. She listened to me, and asked me to tie it up.

Nothing gave me more joy than to obey her, but I was not able to do a good job of it. It looked really bad, even her friends looked angry, but the joy on her face was real.

I felt it. She, was truly happy with me.
Anya loved it. We went out to eat and she proudly wore that absurd way of crooked ponytail I made for her.

She told me, that it was the first time she saw me smile. For that smile, she could promise to wear her hair that way for the rest of her life.

That was when I realised, I had indeed smiled. Maybe not as beautifully or as bright as her, but I did. I never knew I could. . . I didn't know, if I should.

I asked her then, if I was allowed to smile. This question though, got a response from her that I never imagined. Her blue eyes turned luminous with tears, which silently spilled over.

At first, I had panicked hard. I never wanted to make my only friend cry, but, she hugged me right there. She hugged me in that restaurant, in front of her friends and their Butler.

Her head did not even reach my chin, such a tiny child she is but her grip on me was firm. That hug, with such obvious care. . . I don't remember the last time I was hugged this way. I really don't.

She then spoke, her voice half muffled by my clothes. She said, because my smile was so very precious that God knew people would get envious and start a war due to jealousy because of it, to steal it away. To steal me away. That was why, he gave me very little opportunity to smile, for world peace. But now that she was beside me, she promised that she would treasure my smile so fiercely that no one could ever steal it away.

I only have known lies to be ugly, twisted, warped and rotten. Lies that do nothing but corrode at the little bit of dignity one can have, lies that make it seem that life is all about constant effort to just be spared somehow.

But this girl? Her lies were adorable. Her lies, made me smile again.
Even her lies are as gentle as the light she exudes.

She cried for me.
Her tears, were precious. Too precious for me. Who else has ever felt so strongly to spare me a few tears even after seeing me left lying with broken bones from a mother bent on killing me?

But Anya, she felt sad because of a simple question I asked.
Even though I felt cherished, I never want to see those beautiful smiling eyes covered in sheen of tears.

I obeyed her. I. . . Promised her.
If my smile was what she desired, then I will always smile for her.

And. . . I will also make a promise to myself.
I will never let her cry.
The little girl who drags me towards light, the little girl who accepts me even when I know that I am not normal.
The little girl with big blue eyes and an even bigger heart, will never find a reason to taste what unhappiness or loneliness is.

I, will protect her. As she, in her clumsy way is trying to do to me.

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This dummy.
Anya smiled as she read this part. The writing did show Joon to start to understand his emotions, slowly shedding the shackles that kept him caged in pain.

But he still could not see or understand things completely.

Anya rubbed a finger over the perfect handwriting of the boy, smiling at him missing the obvious thing which had been right in front of him.

He saw her as someone who smiled often without even realizing that it had only been for him.

Those days, she had been an hellion, naughty defining her name.
She had been that gentle, only for him.
Because during that funeral, she hadn't just seen relief in his eyes.

Back when she had been ten, she had been playing with Soyeon in their grounds when a commotion had drawn them towards the gate. Their neighbour, had been enraged over their dog, for irritating her. She was beating the poor animal harshly with a cane, without any mercy. The cries and whines of the dog, the blood splattering everywhere had traumatized her badly. Very badly. And the fact that everyone watched, but no one came to its aid, frightened her. The poor animal had fallen down, unable to stand.

Soyeon had freaked and ran inside crying, when the crowd had dispersed, leaving the dog to die, but Anya couldn't leave. She. . . Couldn't leave him alone.

She was crying, trying to unlatch the gates but the guards were refusing.
But the next second, they fell asleep standing up. A strange man had opened the gates from the outside and extended his palm to her.

Though Anya had been young, she had always been cautious. She had never blindly trusted anyone, but that stranger, right then, she knew he would never hurt her.

Placing her hand on his, he had let him guide her to that dog. The bloody creature wasn't even making a sound, so beyond hurt he had been. His eyes were glazed with a mad pain. They were unseeing.

"When pain reaches a certain point, it destroys everything else. Like a decay left untended without any sunlight, it changes the soul." The man had said. He had knelt down and continued, "At that point, you have two options Anya, one is to end their suffering. The other is to stay by their side, even as they change from it. Understand that they will be broken from the change, never the same as they previously had been, but, if you stay, they will at least never be alone."

Anya had not quite understood what he had said, when she saw the man touch the dog's head lightly. With his touch, the dog exhaled one last time and closed its eyes.

The stranger, had chosen the first option.

"Broken things can never be put together, but they can be changed to something else entirely. But to do that, requires great effort, and even greater will. A will, that sometimes fails bitterly. People will say then it is futile, but no. Because," Turning to her, that handsome stranger had bent down and smiled, "Even in that state, the soul will realise that it has someone. When the time comes to give up, leaving will not have regrets, will not have grudge. It will not turn evil."

"Mr. Stranger, why are you telling me this? I don't understand." She had asked.

"Because you'll need it someday." He had then held her little hand and got her back to her house gates to shut them, "Because the second option is what you always take, and the first, is always mine." Pausing, he continued "But one day, I'll teach you to sometimes choose mine, as I will learn to Choose yours. But that will only be, when we will be born together." Giving her another smile, he had left.

Even though she never knew who he had been, Anya still vividly remembered the whole incident. Especially during that funeral.

Because Joon's eyes, resembled that of the dying animal in pain.
He was on that verge.

So Anya had skipped and ran to him as soon as she found him alone, intending to soothe him. Because that stranger had been right. She would always choose the second option.

And she still, did not regret that choice.

Anya turned half the diary over, not wanting to read this gradual transformation of Joon's innocence slowly starting to fade, for him to realise how much in pain he had been.

She couldn't handle that.

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