Unspoken Vow [Namjoon FF] [SOF Prequel 0.3] ✔

Chapter 26

Azaleskis,

Its been four years since Little Fruit came to me.

It was her sixteenth birthday today. She looked very beautiful in her white dress. White suits her. Out of all the colours, it describes her the best.

But, I wonder if I can touch her when I know this fact.
I am nothing but the mixture of shades that remains unnamed and unused. Will I sully her?

Watching her today, laughing and enjoying her small party, for the first time I feel conflicted.

Friend. She was my first friend, she will always be that. Someone I will always protect, will treasure. Someone who is mine.

Because, she smiled for me, got angry for me.
She. . . cried for me.

But now, that definition is slowly changing and I don't recognise it. To be precise, I am afraid to recognise it.
My feelings for her was always clear, now, they are becoming. . . more tangled, imperceptibly intricate.

Save those three persons, her family, I have started to get irritated if anyone else talks to her for long. I don't like hearing her making plans which include others beside me.

This is, not normal. I know that.
But I can't stop myself.
The more I try, the more annoyed I become.

She is important to me. She is my everything.
Her voice is the last thing I imagine before falling asleep, her smile the first thing I feel like seeing when I wake up.

But lately, disturbing thoughts keep plaguing me. What if she leaves? What if she makes another new friend that she likes better than me? Anyone is better than a stoic iceberg who cannot express his thoughts freely. With me, every single conversation is started by her, continued by her. She knows me, so she understands what my gestures mean without me speaking out the words.

But what if she gets tired of having such a person around?

This got me on edge. Because she only knows the gentle me, never the ruthless bastard I have become.

Maybe, the more I feel, is the future.

Love.
I don't know what it means, but I will never be able to associate this word with anyone else.

And that, is frightening. If I love her.
Someone like me, is their love safe?
Or love from someone like me, is just a synonym of curse?

Does it matter? I won't leave her. I won't let her leave me.

I can't.

What do I do?
What should I do?
If there is one truth in these convoluted mess of emotions, it is the only clear thing I know.

I cannot live without her.
And I am starting to fear. . . .

I also cannot die without her.

Mother was right. I, am a Monster.

💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

There it was. The inevitable point where he had to have understood his natural progression of feelings.

The one time, when he would have hesitated. His conscience flaring up.

Knowing what he chose in the end, Anya skipped the pages of his internal struggle. She closed the diary, picking up another.

because the giant idiot didn't know, there was no point in this struggle.

They were two souls born to have their fates intertwine.
They were born to love each other.