Gold and dragon feathers

Just an ember

When Tommy wakes up first again (something that rarely used to happen but has been a constant the last three or four days) he feels part of him itching to go outside. Go on a run or even a flight. After so much activity every day for weeks he feels almost stifled when just sitting in the house.

It's not like he has much of a choice, his housemates are (understandably) clingy still and with how much effort it takes to hold a form other than his common form he would rather not risk spending more time in town than necessary.  That doesn't stop the desire to leave, though. The fact that his friends are still inside, asleep in Ranboo's bed with Micheal and the desire to make sure they don't wake up while he's gone are the only things holding him back. His brothers keep him pacing in front of the door instead of letting himself out..

It's weird to feel so... trapped? Watched? On guard?

It's odd to be treated as if he's fragile, or moments away from escaping into the night. He's not used to it at all, he's never been one to be careful in anything let alone walking this tightrope.

The wings brushing against the ground behind him don't help matters either, agitated by the unfamiliar exposure to the air. By all means they should mean that he should be experiencing the opposite problems. He should be fleeing from anger, or at least treated like a pet more than a person. Not whatever this is.

Of course part of him is relieved to be given so much understanding, relieved that his dad was wrong, but even more of him is scared of getting too comfortable. He hasn't felt like this since he was a kid but it's still burning strong. The feeling that he shouldn't get his hopes up in case he crosses a line and is expelled.

Annoyingly, whenever he tries to actually think about things and make a plan for when he'll be kicked out his instincts tickle his ribs, threatening to spread across his body. The instinct to stay, to keep his hoard intact.

Instincts, the only reason he's been allowed to stay so long, are the thing that make it harder to accept the possibility of failure.

From Ranboo's purr and habit of hovering behind him to the head butts disguised as nuzzles, it's apparent that he's even got Tubbo's instincts flared up (even though the goat hybrid's are the weakest of the trio). He really must have freaked them out to make their instincts to stay in a group so strong that they haven't even yelled at him.

A chirr under his own breath reminds him that they're not the only ones. He had been reduced to something close to an animal on his journey back to Snowchester, those hours all a blur. The only times he indulged himself before was when he was an actual dragon, figuring that they would help him actually look like a dragon more than anything else. After so long as "mellohi'' fighting them has never been so hard.

Distantly he feels his ears lift up as he hears shuffling from the other room but the relaxation that just hit him is so strong that it doesn't pull him from his thoughts. Why exactly is he fighting his instincts? It's a habit from when he tried to pretend he was just an enderman hybrid who simply didn't have very much monster in him. If anything, now is the perfect time to let go. It's safe to assume that he still has time where instincts drown out the desire to get rid of him, if his brothers are that out of it why should he be giving himself hell. When it comes down to it it will become harder to satiate the want to gather and protest, anyway. He only has a little time before he won't have help.

The only problem is that after so long of keeping a careful watch on himself, he doesn't know how to take those walls down. Thinking about instincts only serve to dyal them down. He wishes he had someone to ask but he doesn't so he does the next best thing he can think of.

He makes his way to his room, passing Tubbo washing his face in the bathroom.

Egged on by the cool air on his skin he starts looking around, grabbing anything that might be of value to him.