The Badboys Bought Me Tampons

Chapter 22

♡SIERRA'S POV♡

"Give them to me,"I whispered to her.

"You didn't tell me?"She repeated with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What would you have done anyway?"I found myself snapping at her.

"Help.Help I would have helped.What is the happiness of seeing my only cousin drowning herself in this,"She gazed at the tablets in disgust and then looked at me.

"Don't you underestimate its power.Its  what gives me energy.It gives me energy to get up everyday and to face you, all of you,"I shouted at her.

"I can help you,"She muttered.

"Help?Oh yeah help means spending time with your little family and forgetting my existence right?Help means seeing your cousin suffering alone for one week straight after being assaulted. I just needed a girl to be there with me Ava but you were never there,"I tried blinking to feel tears on my cheeks but I never felt them.I almost repeated I said during the other incident.

Her eyes were red and realisation struck her.

"This,this is my bestfriend.Valium is my therapy.When everyone is gone,it makes me feel happy.Without it,you wouldn't know what my teeth looked like, you wouldn't be admiring my blue eyes you wouldn't know me at all.Anxiety is one thing that is part of me,"I snatched the tablets angrily.

"You are stupid Ava.So fucking stupid,"I angrily stomped on the floor.

She pulled me into an unexpected hug and I realised all the emotions I thought I was strong for holding.

"Ava you don't understand, you will never because it wasn't you,"I cried into her shirt.

"Make me Si, make me.I can't let you continue doing this to yourself.Its not fair because I know you have overdosed once or twice to make you feel better.I was about to lose you Si, I was about to lose you,"She whimpered as I felt her chest rise rapidly up and down.

"Who was I supposed to hate everyday.I would blame myself Sierra.I would,"She cried.

"You didn't lose me,"I said to her.

"But this isn't you Sierra.This is the works of the drugs in you,"She continued crying.

She was right.

"I want you to know that you are strong Sierra.You can stand without these stupid tablets,"I wasn't strong.I needed them for survival.If she was in my place, she would have taken billions.I nodded regardless.

"I will leave these here, they will be here with you if they make you feel  safer,"She said referring to the tablets.

"I want you to have the will power to survive without them.If I take them with me you might just wanna get them back by any means.But if I leave them here you will force yourself not to take them,"She explained.

Could I survive without my energy? My power?  Hell no I wouldn't.

"I will try,"I told her.

"I believe you,"She kissed my forehead wiping my tears.She wiped her own.

"Now let's go downstairs, mum must some good stuff prepared for us,"We ran downstairs excitedly and deja vu struck me reminding when we used to do this when we were kids.

***

"I love it when you drive.You do it so smoothly yet so fast,"Ava complemented as we pulled up in the parking lot of Hamilton high.

"I'd take it as a compliment but since it's you, I know I am a very sleek driver,"I smacked my lips against each other as she got out banging the car door in response.