Seoul nights • Woosan

Thirty-one.

It was still early in the morning when I walked into the house hoping that Wooyoung was there. When I opened the door I found him sitting on the couch: sleepy red head only wearing an oversize t-shirt as he always used to do. He was munching a slice of bread when he turned his head to my direction, he didn't flinch, not surprised to see me coming unannounced.

"You're back" he just said smiling weakly.

"Yeah. I'm happy that you're here, I was scared that I wouldn't find you"

"You could have called" he answered while moving a bit to make space for me on the couch.

He switched off the tv and focused on me, waiting. I didn't know where to start so I just stared back, playing with my fingers to try to release some tension.

"You came to break up with me" it didn't sound like a question, he knew.

"You probably hate me, don't you? After all I put you through..."

"I have never hated you and I never will" he just replied, his face was calm.

"I can't love you... My-my reputation, my carreer, my..." I was grasping at straws.

I didn't give a fuck about my reputation, about my mother, about Lisa. All I cared about was him, I wanted Wooyoung safe. I wanted him to be happy. I didn't care if my life became miserable as long as I knew that he was all right. But I couldn't give him that so much needed happiness. 

I could finally see beyond my selfishness. I had finally realized it all and it was too late. Too much damage was done. Things were broken in too many pieces and we could do nothing to fix them.

Wooyoung noticed it too because he took my hands that were shaking and whispered:

"You had never been good at lying" he chuckled.

"I'm so sorry, Woo" I broke down in a desperate cry that I didn't know I was holding.

I was so miserable. I was the one breaking up with him but still I was the one being held as I cried myself out on his shoulders, stuttering non-sense.

"I never ment to hurt y-you... I-I just wanted... Don't want to ruin you... You d-deserve much b-better... I'm sorry... P-Please... Wooyoungie" I hiccuped.

His hand was caressing my head, the feeling of his fingers on my again black locks were giving me some peace as he waited for me to calm down before to speak.

"I forgive you, Sanie" he kissed my hair as he still held me "I knew it. I knew it was going to end someday. I've been waiting for this moment for long and it doesn't scare me anymore. It's all right"

He lulled me whispering sweet words to my ear "You loved me how you could and I thank you for that. You really made me happy, San-ah"

He took my cheeks between his hands making me raise my gaze. His fingers dried my tears and he kissed me there with love and tenderness, as nothing bad was going to happen. He moved away after a while, his hands still holding me though, and he smiled.

"It's going to be all right. It hurts now, but we will be all right, I promise"

I tried my best to smile too as I nodded.

I hugged him one last time laying our bodies on the small couch as I kept him between my arms trying my best not to think that that was probably the last time I could do it.

"Take care of yourself" I whispered "If you feel sick go to a doctor, eat properly and don't starve yourself"

I heard him chuckle.

"If you find..." I gasped feeling a weight on my heart as I was about to say it "If you find a new - friend, be careful, make sure he's clean and... you know!" 

He didn't answer but I felt his hand clenching around my shirt.

"Even if we're breaking up, if there's an emergency just call me, okay?"

He nodded and raised his head to make eye contact "I will"

That day he let me leave first, as I asked him to, hoping that I would have felt less bad not seeing him go. He sat on the couch armrest looking at me still holding his sad smile. I took in his sight for one last time, my gaze stopping at his eyes. Those sad, expressive eyes that made me fall in love. With the feeling of having my heart ripped out of my chest I turned my back to him and walked out of the house using all my might to not turn and look at him one last time.

Wooyoung and I were done.

A/N

It hurts even if it was inevitable. But it's not the end.

So: Wooyoung will be gone for a while and it means no smut chapters for a while, but still I enjoy so much writing them that I though about writing a filler for the next chapter. I know I ended this one with a simple goodbye because I thought it was the best thing for both San and Wooyoung. But who knows maybe in an alternative universe they would have make love one last time before leaving. Theeeeen, million dollar question:

Would you like next chapter to be an hypothetical filler-smut part in which Woosan part ways in a more "romantic" way?

Let me know through a comment please!

Remember to vote and support, I always love you ❤️