Roses All The Way Down【Sirius Black】

ⅩⅥ. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐀 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥

Virginia walked into the Common Room. It was empty of all people. Everyone was outside enjoying the lovely night or up in their dorms studying. She collapsed in one of the big loveseats by the fireplace. This place was cozy, adorable. The fire crackled in the hearth. She felt at home.

I don't deserve this. Any of this. I don't belong here.

"Oh... you're back," said an uncertain voice from behind her. One of the Marauders walked over to her. Peter plopped down on the couch next to her, "well I guess Sirius and James are crashing that party for nothing."

"I'm sorry... what?" Virginia asked with wide eyes, looking sideways at Peter.

He opened his mouth to explain but got cut short when he saw the expression on her face. "Ginny... you're about to cry," he observed softly. She felt herself stiffen and she shook her head. "it's okay... you can let it out. I don't mind at all and in not at all a romantic way, I mean I would be killed but we've also never been super close..." he paused his rambling by clearing his throat. "I could put my arm around you, if that would make you feel better." He spoke tentatively and gently. She'd never given Peter much thought but she had a much deeper respect for him now. She nodded a bit. He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into his chest. He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly and that was all it took for her to break down.

"I don't belong here Peter."

"I feel like that sometimes too, but you can't let grades get you down!"

"It's not just that, I'm really poor," she sniffed, "and that dumb dinner party reminded me of all the things I read about in muggle books. They were just realistic fiction but to me they were fantasy. A world with a feast of food and fancy clothes... that couldn't be real. And now it is. And I feel so selfish for taking it. And all the food, all the time in the Great Hall. I barely eat anything because I know I don't deserve to..."

Peter cut her off, "Ginny," he said, his voice somewhat stern, "you get to live and enjoy this fantasy. You made it. You got here. Virginia Waters... you made it to the table. Sit there now and be an inspiration to all."

She took a deep breath, "thank you Peter. I mean it. And could you maybe not tell anyone... y'know that-"

"Of course not," Peter said, smiling at her, "I would never betray my friend."

"What the hell is this?" A voice asked sharply from behind the two. Peter shot up and out of the chair. He raised his hand like a g/n was being pointed at him.

"She was upset, I was helping. I swear we're friends and-" he spluttered.

"It's okay Peter," James said distractedly, waving his hands at the boy, "I trust you."

"I do too," Sirius grumbled when he looked at Virginia, who was desperately trying to reign in her tears. Remus had already sat down next to her.

"If it makes you feel better, those two buffoons embarrassed themselves," he said with a little chuckle, "burst into the party screaming something about saving you from stuffy airheads but of course you weren't there so they just had to back out of the bloody room." Virginia let out a watery chuckle.

"Comes of no shock to any of us really," James chuckled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his and exchanging glances with Sirius. After a minute or two of awkwardness, Virginia stopped leaking long enough for her to apologize.

"Sorry you had to witness that and thanks for the help. Truly," she stood up.

"Don't apologize," all four boys said some similar iteration of that phrase. She smiled before giving them a little wave and walking to the portrait hole. Sirius followed her immediately, the other three shrugged and sat down around the fire.

Virginia didn't protest when she realized Sirius was behind her. She just paused for a moment for him to catch. She let him lead the way and soon found herself at the top of the Astronomy tower. She grinned, leaning against the wall. Sirius sat down across from her with crossed legs, "what's going on Sweetheart."

Her nose twitched, "nothing, I'm fine." Sirius didn't look amused. He stared at her until she spoke again. "I feel like I should miss home more."

"And why don't you?" he asked, his head tilting slightly to one side.

"Lily," she said slowly, trying to plan out her words to keep them from all rushing out at once, "Dorcas. Alice. Mary. Gideon and Fabian. Marlene. Peter. James. Remus... You. You're all the best people I've ever known. And this family I can feel myself making here... it's only been two weeks and I feel more at home here than back there. Maybe it's the lack of pressure... I don't know." She dropped her head into her hands.

"The pressure?" Sirius asked lightly, "I mean don't elaborate if you're not comfortable but-"

"No, it's okay. Don't worry. Just... my older sister, her name's Ophelia and she shed the Christian ideals of our family since she could walk. And then I was supposed to be perfect. And I've never been like that. My family... I know I shouldn't but... I just.. and-"

"Say it," Sirius encouraged.

"They suck. I did everything, everything to be their perfect little girl. Every time I almost made a friend, they would do something against the 'Christian ideals' and I ditched them. I never did anything I wanted to do because it was church and studying the bible or cleaning or doing something for them. And then I was a witch. And now they hate me. It's just not fair... all that work and something I can't even control ruined it for them."

"Wow," Sirius said, "we're the same person."

"Uh what," she asked, refusing to look at him. She didn't want him to see the tears that were rising again.

"I was perfect until I was a Gryffindor. See, my family is made of pureblood Slytherins. Awful and bloodthirsty and they would hate you. But they've practically disowned me. I mean, in all honesty I don't care well except when it comes to my brother. You're a lot like Regulus actually. Older, rebellious siblings that got all the hopes and dreams for them get pushed onto you."

"It's good we have siblings to get through everything." He let out a little scoff. Virginia's eyebrows furrowed and she finally looked at him, "are you guys not close?"

"We used to be. I mean... he's seen me cry the most. He's coming in at ten, James at eight, Remus at five and Peter at three. And then my dumb house elf at two," he shifted and looked away, "uh, what about you?"

"My cry count??," at his nod, she continued, "Well I guess you're all tied. All of you at one."

"And your sister?"

She looked confused, "one."

"One?" he asked.

"I don't cry very often, honestly. And when I do, I do it alone. I always have. Just this one time Ophelia was in the room. And tonight, everything is a little bit too much to bear. Well actually, I guess my mother has seen me cry the most. Three times in the span of two weeks, when she kicked Ophelia out." The fact that she'd been let back in went without saying.

"Perfect," he clapped his hands together, "won't be too hard to beat then."

"Excuse me what?" She asked, looking up at him with furrowed brows.

"I wanna beat everyone else and you're going to help me. Cry in front of me Gin. My goal is to- to quadruple the current high. So just... come to me when it's all too much."

She stared up at him. She knew what she looked like, splotchy and red and bleary eyed. There was no way he was doing this because of anything related to her red dress or how she looked tonight. "You're wonderful," she managed to get out, "and- and I wanna win too please."

Sirius looked down at her, a small smile coming to his face, "it's a deal Sweetheart."

She looked over at him, "if I start crying again... does it count as a second time?"

"I'd say so," he smirked, before opening his arms where he sat. It was an obvious invitation. She let the tears she was desperately holding back fall as she practically leapt into him. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him. So close she could hear his heart beating in his chest. It was rather fast, she noted, which was rather interesting.