cigarettes & invisible string || golden trio era

𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋

(i actually despise my writing in these first few chapters im sorry)

rose pov

' hey dorothea
do you ever stop and think about me?
when we were younger
down in the park '

I stared at the night sky above me, I always loved the view from here. A chill ran down my spine as I thought of the past two weeks events.

Orion Black is gone.

We buried my beloved grandfather today, I was meant to speak, tell the wizarding world what a great man he was and how heartbroken I am that he's gone.

But as the time came for him to be put in the ground and for me to stand on that hideous podium, I felt speechless. My throat tightened as I looked upon the sea of faces and saw every single member of the scared twenty eight looking back at me, expecting a meaningful speech for the man who lived so long.

I made eyed contact with the three people who could've made it easier for me. Theodore Nott, Whitman Rosier, and Narcissa Malfoy. Hoping...no—praying, that somehow looking at them would make me be able to speak and make up grand things to say about the man I spent almost sixteen years of my life being raised by.

But of course, nothing came still.

So with one last nod to Theo—knowing he understood he needed to handle this, I simply walked off and I did not turn back around.

That's how I landed myself here, at dusk, on the astronomy tower of Hogwarts.

Alone.

Trying to think of how I will explain to the world why the powerful man who raised me did not get kind words on the day he was being put back into the soil of the earth. The truth is not something people yearn for, they will proclaim to want it, say it is wrong to hide the truth.

I think different.

I think that if they knew how destroyed the granddaughter of Orion Black is to know she will never look him in the face again is, they would say it's understandable. But not if they became aware of how terrified I am to be left with only his wife, Walburga Black. That's when they would turn away from me. Say it is preposterous to think anyone could feel that away.

I would say they are wrong.

I wish I could say good things about the woman who wiped my butt as a baby and fed me, but I couldn't. Not after the years of mental abuse, the years of physical torture. The only good memories I have of that woman is her brushing my hair for me, teaching me the stars. And the only thing I am grateful she gave me is a house-elf named Kreacher.

Orion though, oh Orion Black was one of the best men I knew. Although he witnessed the abuse, he never stood by or supported it. He was quiet man with high intellect and just wished to exist in this world. And he was good to me, really good to me.

I'm brought back to my surroundings as I feel a drop of rain hit my skin. I look up into the sky hoping it will pour down rain that very second. Wishing the sky will let me experience one of the few things I love in this world.

Rain.

I decide to stop my head from the insane amount of thoughts coming in and out at once and finally take a seat against the ledge, letting my legs dangle off. I pull out my pack of cigarettes and begin to light one, as soon as I take my first puff I hear the door slam at the bottom of the stairs. I don't bother to turn around, whoever it is doesn't make any difference to me. I vow myself to sit here until the moon is full above me and I can recall the constellations.