keep me afraid

31 - Augusta

Fear.

What is fear?

By definition fear is "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat"

But can that really do true terror any justice? As soon as I heard Antonio's horrifying voice call as I was holding the phone dear to me, my world stopped.

"Honey?" I turned.

My lips were trembling as I dropped the phone. I couldn't speak. Too. Scared. Can't. Move. Can't. Breathe.

Rage flashed through his eyes as he grabbed my hair and pulled me close to him. He whispered, dangerously, in my ear. "What the fuck did you do?" He whispered. He hasn't even noticed the car.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing as I was consumed by fear. There were so many unknowns and so many potential dangers. I tried to speak, but before I could offer an explanation, he noticed the car.

He reached into a compartment and pulled out a gun, holding it close to him as he fiercely commanded me, "Fucking come with me," I begged him to stop, but he dragged me towards the basement door, growling in my ear, "You're staying down here for a very long fucking time." No.

All of a sudden the burden-filled noise of glass breaking filled the house. Antonio held me tighter. He opened the basement door. "Get down there and don't move. Now!" He yelled as he attempted to push me.

I screamed.
And I screamed again.

I felt a heavy hand cover my mouth as I cried.

I heard aggressive and rough breathing in my ear. I looked up at his eyes and saw a flash of panic as he realized the gravity of the situation. He whispered, "I will be back. You'll be back in my arms soon. It's too risky right now. I love you." He grabbed me close as he began to messily put his lips all over mine — I wanted to puke.

Before I could mutter the next word, he was gone. I leaned against the wall as I placed my hand over my heart, trying to calm down my breathing.

That was when I saw him, Warner.
"Dear." He said as he wrapped his arms around me. "God, I told you. I told you it would all be okay." He began to stroke my hair softly as tears began to pour down my cheek.

"A..are you gonna hurt me too?" I let out a cry.

He looked almost offended. "No, no. Of course not. I'm here to help you. I'm here to provide you with the freedom you've been seeking for."

I looked up at him as I let myself swallow, I wanted to believe him, but it was so hard. Every. single. man in my life has hurt me.

I nodded in agreement as he took my hand and led me outside. The fresh air was invigorating after being confined in that unpleasant place for so long. I had missed nature - the beautiful sky, the green grass, and all the other wonders it had to offer. I was filled with a deep appreciation for the natural world.

He kept his arm around me as unfamiliar men began to raid the home.

"He's gone." I told him. But is he ever gone? Every time he was gone, he was back. Every time I thought I could taste freedom, he snatched it away from me. He took my wings. My wings are back.

He let out a sigh. "You'll be safe, I promise-"

"Don't." I stop him. "Don't make a promise you can't keep. Antonio is not who you think he is. He won't stop until he wins. He will spend his ever lasting breath on me."

"So we take that breath away."

I didn't know what to think. Yes. Antonio has caused me more pain than I could ever previously comprehend, but I didn't want him dead. There were other, more practical solutions!