keep me afraid

17. Perfect Family

I was awake the whole night thinking about his family. The thought of meeting them terrified me.

Would they be like him?
Could they protect me?

Before I knew it, the birds were chirping and my reality was starting to settle in.

Antonio gave me a charming smile as he had a sleepy face, instead of getting up, he pulled me back into his arms and took a deep breath.

"I love you, I'm proud of you." He whispers into my ear.

I really really hated that his words gave me a warm feeling. I couldn't let him do this to me. He's put me through so much.

Maybe it was the lack of male validation I've had in my life. Maybe it was the fact that I've never felt loved.

There was no denying that I hated him but sometimes he knew exactly what to say.

He looked down at me and noticed my train of thought before kissing me.

"Are you excited, darling?" He asked, playing with my hair gently.

"For what-" I cut myself off as I realized exactly what he was talking about and resulted in my voice dropping.

He chuckles. "You don't have to fear, baby. I'm gonna be here for you. I won't leave your sight, okay?" He squeezed my hand.

I give him a gentle nod before he plants a kiss on my forehead and pulls me closer.

He looked down into my eyes and asked the question that I was dreading. "Speaking of family, why haven't I ever heard about your father?"

I look up at him as tears began to pour down my eyes, I began to cover my face with my hands in attempt to cover myself from the embarrassment as I sobbed.

"Awwwee baby." He purred as he sat up and held me in his lap and wrapped his arms around me. "Talk to me baby."

"Dad... he..." I tried to continue my sentence but couldn't help but cry.

"My father... he was terrible. He was always so mean to mama and when I was 7 he left us. I haven't seen him since. I really miss him. I hate that I do. But he's my dad... I can't help but think about the times where we would hike together and play monopoly and go to the park together and sing musicals together. He even made me feel so safe and would check under my bed and my closet every night to help me sleep."

Antonio nodded and held me closer, kissing my shoulders gently. "It's okay, baby. I got you."

I cried in his arms and just let it all out. I couldn't help it, he was all the comfort I had.

"That's why I had to take you away from that filth, dear. I told you we will have a perfect family. You won't ever be left or alone again, okay?" He began to stroke my cheek.

Of course he had to make it about himself and his fantasies.

"Now." He said as he stood up. "I wanted to take you to the store with me to get some supplies for supper."

The store? Outside?

My eyes instantly lit up. He noticed and chuckled slowly. It was almost as if he couldn't tell if my cheeriness was rooted in connection to leaving him or something more innocent.