Homer Simpson #1

331 13 3
                                    

Just in case any of you don't know, this is set in the same time as Marge Simpson #1 so I'd recommending reading that first.

"Heh, heh, this is the life, eh Bart?" Homer chuckled as he opened his third can of beer and threw it into a four foot pile in the corner

"I guess so" The boy sighed and looked forlorn as he sat there, watching tv with his father

"What's wrong, boy? He turned his attention from the mind numbing rubbish he was watching to see why Bart was being like this.

"Nothing, Homer, it's just that...when will we ever get something decent for dinner? I miss Mom"

Ever since the divorce, Marge went to live with her sisters, which left Homer with the house. Lisa chose to go with her mother and Bart decided to stay with Homer but he wasn't so sure now.

"Why? What's wrong with it? It's what my father used to make me, and if it's good enough for me, then it's good enough for you!"

"Ow! I broke the tin opener again!" Abe Simpson moaned from the kitchen. Abe was also residing in the Simpsons house ever since the retirement home caught fire.

"Yeah, but when has he ever actually made anything? You're talking about when Gramps wasn't senile" The boy rolled his eyes.

"I AM NOT SENILE! MY BRAINS WORK JUST AS WELL AS THEY DID THIRTY YEARS AGO!" The feisty old man retorted. "Now where did the tin go? Ohhhh"

"We've been living on takeouts every night! Look at me! I look, feel and smell terrible! Something i never thought i'd care about! I thought this would be great! A guys paradise but this is just hell! I wouldn't even mind seeing snot-nosed Lisa again!" Bart argued before getting off the couch and going up to his room.

"Why you ungrateful! After all i did for you! Get back here!" Homer yelled but it was no use, Bart was gone. Homer looked back angrily but his anger turned to sadness and he sighed in despair.

"Doh, how did you do it, Dad?"

"I honestly don't know! One minute the tin opener is in my hand, the next minute..."

"I meant bringing me up, i thought there was nothing to it"

The old man put his arm around his bumbling son and gave him a warm smile. "No one ever said it was easy, i didn't know what to do when your mother left me and i had to learn to take all of this responsibility. you've never had any responsibility like this before and now you have all this to deal with, but I'll be there for you"

Homer smiled back at him. "Wow, thanks Dad, but i don't know how I'm gonna deal with having my job, cooking cleaning and then making time for tv, eating, sleeping and drinking!" He started sobbing when he said this and Abe looked thoughtfully.

"Hmm, maybe...you SHOULD go apologize to Marge" He suggested. Homer looked horrified at this. "What? That's the same as backing down! Never!"

"Hmm, you might have a point, well why don't you just find someone new?"

"New?" Homer sniffed and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Yeah! You could get a nice, younger girl! Trade her in for a younger model if you know what I'm saying" The old man winked and kissed his teeth, or false teeth.

"Hmm, now that ain't such a bad idea! I do kinda miss having someone to share those moments with. Alright! I'll do it!" And so he did. He thought about a woman he used to know a long time ago, Mindy Simmons, but he didn't have any of her contact details and she disappeared years ago. That night, he set up a profile on a dating website. "This should get the women coming!" He chuckled but after a while he grew impatient as no woman was really interested in his profile and that was disappointed. His patience paid off and he did get a few dates later, but they were all disasters, each and every one of them and he gave up all hope. About a month later, he was at the kwik e mart doing the shopping. He was busy thinking of his last date and what a nightmare she turned out to be, ok, to be fair, most of the women he met were fine but just disgusted and embarrassed by him, but his last date was a total psycho who scared him into deleting his profile and giving up.

His mind was so busy thinking all this over, he never noticed the tin he dropped and that it was rolling over until it stopped at your foot.

"You dropped this?" He heard a voice say and looked in front of him and gasped to see a very attractive woman in front of him.

"Uh, yeah, it looks like it" He scratched the back of his neck as he was just the tiniest bit intimidated. You were friendly enough, but he just thought you were so pretty. "Thank you, stranger"

"It's fine" You chuckled. He leaned over and noticed your basket and looked happy as he saw the contents.

"You like (f/f) too?" He enquired.

"Of course! Who doesn't?" You smiled and continued to pick groceries.

"Good point. You have some really good tastes" He stated as he saw the selection of food you were buying.

"Gee, thanks, you too i guess" You answered politely and tucked your hair back.

"I'm Homer" He introduced himself to you and put his hand out for you to shake.

"I'm (y/n), nice to meet you, Homer" You giggled. His face lit up when you said his name and he looked happy you were talking to him.

You both paid for your shopping and left the store, still talking. You both really seemed to have hit it off and Homer was really into you and so he decided to make the brave and yet quite stupid move of asking you out.

"Say, (y/n), you're pretty cool and pretty interesting, are you single as well?" He asked slyly.

"Well yes, yes i am" You answered, not really knowing why this was relevant.

Yes! He was mentally screaming right now. "And i-" He twiddled his thumbs as he did this. It's been a long time since he asked a girl out and he hoped he wouldn't mess up. "I, i'm wondering if you're free tonight? You know? We could go out for dinner, a drink and hopefully get to know each other better?" Oh please say yes to him.

You gazed at him for a moment before smiling back. "Sure, why not? Heres my number, call me! Don't forget to pick me up tonight, Homer!"

He looked dumbfounded and lost for words and danced about in the car park before getting in the car and getting ready to go home, excited to spill the beans about you to the guys back home.

◦•●❤♡ Simpsons imagines ♡❤●•◦Where stories live. Discover now