off the table

eighty six

"Happy birthday Leona," I smiled, softly kissing Leona's forehead. Leona, who was standing in her crib, gave me a smile, showing her two teeth. Gosh, she's adorable.

Dalton came up to me and wrapped his arms around my body. His hands were cold and shaky. I immediately knew what was wrong. Today marks exactly a year since I nearly lost my life. I couldn't remember much about that day, since I was only awake for a couple of minutes before slipping into a coma for a whole week, but Dalton witnessed everything. What happened that day truly fucked him up. He often had nightmares. I've tried to convince him to go see a therapist, but he refused. He said that he only wanted me to cuddle with him and stay by his side. Poor baby.

"You okay baby?" I asked Dalton. He just gave me a nod and buried his face onto my chest. I softly kissed his lips and caressed his back.

"Stay by my side," he mumbled against my neck.

"Of course baby, I won't leave you," I lightly smiled.

"Mommy? Daddy?" I heard Alistair's voice outside our room.

"Come in," I replied. The door creaked open and he entered our room.

"Daddy, are you okay?" he asked Dalton, "You look sad."

"I-I'm okay," Dalton answered, trying to fake a smile.

"You're lying," Alistair frowned.

"Daddy's sad, because today marks one year since Mommy got really sick and had to stay in the hospital," I whispered into his ear.

"How do I make him feel better?" he whispered back.

"Give him a hug, maybe?"

"Wuv you Daddy," he came over to Dalton and gave him a hug.

"Love you too, bud," Dalton gave him a tiny smile.

***

"Happy birthday to you," we all sang to Leona. We let her blow the candle and clapped. I cut up the cake and gave everyone a piece.

"Here's your cake," I said to Leona, giving her a piece of the cake. She clapped excitedly. I began feeding her the cake and she grabbed the fork midway, meaning she wanted to try eating on her own. I let her do it, and in no time, she had icing all over her face, making everyone laugh at how cute she was. I quickly took out my phone and snapped a picture to capture the moment.

"Oh my gosh, you're so cute!" Tori beamed, playing with Leona's cheeks.

"Alright piccolina, it's time to get you cleaned up," I chuckled, picking her up. I brought her to the bathroom and began cleaning her face with some baby wipes. I then changed her into a fresh outfit and took her back to the living room. That's when I noticed that Dalton wasn't around anymore.

"Where's Dalton?" I asked.

"He just went upstairs," my mom answered.

"Would you mind watching Leona for a while? I'm gonna check on him."

"Sure bellissima."

"Piccolina, please be good to your nonna, Mommy's gonna check on Daddy," I softly kissed Leona's forehead and went upstairs to check on Dalton. I went inside our room and there I saw him, sobbing in the corner. My heart shattered. I immediately came up to him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Baby," he cried onto my chest.

"Shhh... I'm here baby, I'm not going anywhere," I cooed.

"D-don't leave me again," he sobbed.

"I won't leave you again baby, I promise," I softly caressed his back, "We're gonna raise our kids and grow old together."

"I-I was so scared. Y-you were bleeding out s-so m-much and s-stopped breathing in the ambulance. T-the doctor said that your h-heart stopped twice during surgery. I-I was so close to losing you," he sobbed and my heart shattered. I couldn't help but feel bad.

"I'm here baby, I'm okay now," I softly kissed his forehead. He wrapped his arms around me and embraced me into a hug.

"I love you so much," he mumbled against my neck.

"I love you too," I lightly smiled and softly kissed his lips.

"I'm exhausted," he mumbled.

"Wanna get some rest?" I asked and he nodded. We climbed onto the bed and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I felt his warm breaths against my face, and in no time, he fell asleep. I reached for my phone from the bedside table and texted my mom, telling her that she would have to watch Leona for a little longer, since Dalton fell asleep with his arms around me. He would freak out if I wasn't around when he's awake. She replied with an "ok", and I placed my phone back on the bedside table.

I softly kissed Dalton's cheek and ran my fingers through his hair. My poor baby, he must've been so drained out. Today wasn't easy at all for him. We're only halfway through the day, but he's already in a horrible state.

***

I woke up feeling Dalton's kiss on my forehead. His arm was still wrapped around my waist protectively. My eyes fluttered open and he ran his fingers through my hair.

"How's your sleep baby?" he asked.

"It was good," I lightly smiled, "How about you?"

"I woke up after having a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep," he pouted.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I frowned.

"I didn't have the heart to. You seemed exhausted."

"Wake me up the next time you have a nightmare. I'll be the one to comfort you," I told him.

"I'll try."

"And baby," I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I think it's time for you to start seeing a therapist. It's been a year now, but you're still struggling to process what happened that day," I said quietly. He sighed.

"It's just, I'm ashamed of myself. I mean, society expects men like me to just be tough, but here I am, crumbling apart," he mumbled.

"Baby," I softly caressed his shoulder, "getting help doesn't make you weak. In fact, it shows how strong and brave you are, for recognizing that you need help and reaching out."

"And I'll support you throughout the whole journey like the way you showed me your support when I went through mine," I softly kissed his lips.

"I guess I'll give it a try."