off the table

eighty two

"Your daughter is doing so well," the doctor said, "You can take her home now."

"Really?" Dalton lit up.

"Yeah."

"Oh my gosh," I began crying tears of joy. After spending nearly three months in the NICU, we could finally take her home. The twins would be so happy when they see her.

"You're finally going home," I whispered to Leona, who I was holding in my arms. She gave me an innocent look. Gosh, she's so precious.

"So beautiful," I smiled.

"Wanna go home now?" Dalton asked and I lightly nodded. We took a moment to thank all the doctors and nurses who had been taking care of our daughter and made our way to the hospital parking lot. I secured Leona into her car seat and we began driving. I looked over at our daughter in awe.

"I can't take my eyes off her," I said to Dalton.

"If only I'm not driving and can look at her right now," he chuckled and I laughed.

"She's an exact copy of you," he smiled.

"I know right? I guess my genes are powerful," I winked.

"You might wanna take that back, because both of the twins look like me," he giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll let you win," I chuckled. We soon pulled up at our driveway and took Leona out of her seat. We then unlocked the door and were immediately greeted by the dogs. I bent over a little and introduced her to the dogs. One by one, they sniffed her and nuzzled up to her.

"Pickles, look who we brought home!" Dalton called. The twins came running from the living room with Verna following behind.

"The baby!" Alistair squealed. We went to the living room and I sat down on the couch with Leona in my arms. The twins sat down next to me and observed their little sister.

"So cute," Marshall looked at her in awe.

"So tiny," Alistair beamed.

"Is she feeling better now?" Marshall asked. "Yeah, that's why we can take her home already."

Alistair came closer and placed a kiss on Leona's forehead. My heart melted. They're already affectionate towards their little sister even though they just met. Leona had her eyes on Alistair, observing her brother.

"I think she likes you, bud," Dalton said to Alistair.

"Really?" he lit up. "Seems like it."

"Does she like me too?" Marshall asked.

"I'm sure she does, she's just confused, because you both look so similar." Dalton chuckled.

"Daddy's right," I added, "Daddy and I couldn't even tell you both apart when we took you home from the hospital. Lita was also struggling to tell you both apart."

"That's true," Verna smiled, "it took us a couple of weeks to be able to tell who's Alistair and who's Marshall."

Leona's eyes then went to Marshall as she began observing him. She scrunched her face up and I giggled. She must've thought that there were two of the same person here. It was hilarious.

"Where's the baby gonna sleep?" Marshall asked.

"In me and Mommy's room," Dalton answered, "She just went home from the hospital, so we're staying with her in case she gets sick again. She's gonna have her own room when she's a little older."

"Oh."

We actually had a nursery built for Leona, but it wasn't completed the moment she was born, since she came way earlier than expected. Because of how terrible the state she was in when she was born, Dalton and I were so worried about her, so we decided to let her stay with us in our room so that we can monitor her at night.

"Can she stay with us when she's older?" Alistair asked.

"Sure, if she wants to."

"Yay!" they both beamed, making me and Dalton smile.

***

"Night Mommy, night Daddy, night Lee Lee," the twins said in unison.

"Night pickles."

They went to their room for bed. I was sitting on the bed, feeding Leona, while Dalton was sitting next to me. It's still really scary holding her. She's really tiny and fragile, and I couldn't help but feel scared that I would hurt her.

Dalton was looking at our daughter, smiling. Ever since we took her home this afternoon, he seemed a lot happier.

"Cutie, Daddy loves you so much," Dalton smiled. He's always really soft around her. I looked over at our daughter and softly caressed her cheek. She had grown so much. Although she's considered too small for a three-month-old, she's very healthy, and that's what matters the most.

"I'm so happy that she's healthy now," I said to Dalton. "Me too."

"And she made it because of you, you're the one who stayed strong for her," he lightly smiled and softly kissed my lips. A tear rolled down my cheek and Dalton wrapped his arms around me.

"Oh baby," he rubbed my back and placed a kiss on my forehead. Soon, Leona fell asleep in the middle of her feed and unlatched herself. I gently turned her over to her stomach and tapped on her back until she let out a little burp.

"Goodnight, piccolina, Mommy loves you," I softly kissed her forehead. I placed her in her crib, which was a few feet away from the bed. I crawled back onto the bed and snuggled next to Dalton.

"I love that nickname," he smiled.

"I came from a very Italian family, so duh," I chuckled and he laughed. I placed my head on his chest and he ran his fingers through my hair, making me smile.

"Do you think she's gonna get my curls?" I asked Dalton.

"Ooh, definitely, she's an exact copy of you," he smiled.

"It's sad to know that she might have health and developmental issues though," I frowned.

"I know baby, let's just hope for a miracle," he said with hope in his eyes. The doctor said that we'll have to take her to a pediatric psychologist when she's a year old to see if she has autism, since it won't be possible to tell before she's at least 12 months old. We would also have to pay so much attention to her development and social responses. It's really heartbreaking to know how much our daughter had gone through, and the fact that she might face a lot more in the future just made everything worse.