Let's Meet Again, For the First Time (Eren x OC)

56

‼️TW: suicide‼️

His eyes looked sore, as if he hadn't been sleeping, only crying. His face was drained of what color it had left. The dark circles under his eyes were a deep purple, hollowing his face.

"I love you-...that day- you asked me and I, I didn't say it. I'm...sorry", my teary eyes gazed up into his. "I was hurt, by you and-.... I love you, I love you so much, just as you are", "And I'm sorry....for not saying it when you needed me to the most".

"None of it matters anymore- not the fight....nothing matters anymore. It's all okay- because all that matters is that I love you and I want to be with you", I started to ramble, "I don't wanna spend another day without you, I wanna get married to you and fight about bills! I want to have a family with you and I want to grow old with you- so we can be grumpy old people who hate the world".

I took a deep breath after my rant, "I want to argue with you, I want to fight with you, I want to cry with you. I want to hurt with you", I inhaled deeply before I spoke again.

"You know that one book they turned into a movie- it was super sad- everyone was talking about it. The one with the kids who have cancer and fall in love? I think it's called Fault in Our Stars, The Fault in Our Stars? Something like that. Anyways, I saw the movie the other day and it reminded me of the time in high school when I read it. And I remember this one line- it always stuck with me because I never understood it".

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you".

"But now, I get it...", I started to smile, "Because Eren, I love you, and it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you".

That favorite smile of mine appeared on his face, "Are those your vows?", he raised his brows lightly, I started to nod, "Yeah, they are".

His eyes watched me closely, as if he were trying to memorize every feature on my face. Intently outlining the shape of my eyes and lips. Rain was pouring around us, the sky thundering with fear.

But we were completely still underneath the chaos.

"The hell are you waiting for?", I shook my head slowly, wondering as to why he hadn't kissed me yet. "You're real impatient, you know that? Here I am, trying to admire you and you just-", I silenced him with my lips.

"If you would've just waited a-", I cut him off, "I'm not waiting anymore", I said with a smile just as wide as his.

"Come on", he threw his arm around me along with a kiss on the side of my head, "Let's go home".

And just like that, we were us again.

I know some of you reading this now are probably mad at me. Why haven't you told him you're dying? Why are you lying to him? It'll only hurt him more if you don't tell him....

Well, I have a question for you. What would you do?

What we don't know can't hurt us. That is the bliss of ignorance.

I didn't want to be a corpse. Because once they knew I was dying, I'd already be dead to them. Lying in a hospital bed with countless machines and tubes attached to me. The smell of death inching closer to me by the day while they watched me from the doorway.

I didn't want to think about dying, my inevitable end.

So I did just that.

Because living isn't worrying about death, it's the opposite. And I was still alive, and I intend to feel that way until I'm not.

"I love you Spencer Bradley, never forget that", he whispered into the dark room as our bodies began to fall asleep.

I was in room with the whitest paint. Four walls surrounded me, only one window leading to darkness. But it wasn't just any window....it was our window.