Let's Meet Again, For the First Time (Eren x OC)

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Eren's POV:

I became the darkness.

My once green eyes turned a dark grey. My brown hair died and became dull just as my mind did. My skin became a cold shade of white.

I felt like I was decaying from the inside out.

It started with a single thought. And that single thought took everything from me. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything. I was irrevocably and hopelessly lost.

My thoughts weren't my own, something had crawled inside my head and taken control of me.

I wanted to feel again.

I missed her. I missed her so much. I cried most days, and when I wasn't crying, I was asleep, or pretending to be. In hopes that I could escape this world and find a fantasy where I was with her, and I was okay.

I knew she was probably scared, worried, shattered. But I couldn't let her see me like this. I couldn't let her watch me fall apart. That would hurt her more than this.

I wanted to go away, but I knew I couldn't do that. I knew I had to stay and fell our story to the end. I had to stay for my mom, Armin, all the people that loved me. If I left, their lives would be stained with my blood forever.

And I couldn't be selfish.

There wasn't much to say. Because all I felt was emptiness, along with the loneliness it brought with it.

I was a shell of a human, hollow inside. That if you hit me hard enough, I'd fall apart.

I missed the sun. I missed the sky. I missed the stars and I missed the moon. But what I missed most was her voice. A soft tone that brought me safety, serenity. It took away all the hurt inside me, all the guilt, and all the pain.

I felt like my life was flashing by and all I could do was watch and cry.

"I'm getting a beer with the guys, you wanna come?", Zeke opened the door slightly, "I'm okay", I rolled over in bed, I heard him sigh lightly. And the door closed quietly.

No one ever knew where I ran to. Not my mother, not my father, not a single person who searched for me has ever found me.

Maybe that's why I enjoyed running so much.

When we're lost, do we really want to be found?

Maybe we want to stay in the disorient, because it's so unfamiliar to us. It's something we don't understand and we cannot calculate. It's a feeling we can't quite feel.

We say we want to be found, but we don't. We don't want others to find us, find the ugly in us, find whatever is making us lost in the first place. We only want to be found when we're okay again, once the lost in us becomes lost.

Because once the lost in us finds us, we become the lost. It varies the torch back and forth, a sick twisted game of hide and seek that never ends.

But what I've been crying about the most is myself, the person I used to be and lost the person in the present with no clue about his future.

My soul is tired. And I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold on.

And that's when the sun burned through the window glass. I shielded my eyes from the violent light. Through my fingers, rays of sun found my skin. That's when I saw the tattoo on my hand, the sunlight glowing around it.

And that's when I realized. I wasn't lost at all, because she found me.


Spencer's POV:

It's been a month since I had seen Eren.