Let's Meet Again, For the First Time (Eren x OC)

54

A/n: double update bc I love you

Eren's POV:

I was a mess. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating.

I spend most days in bed, then at night I'd drink until it didn't hurt anymore. I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks. But she was all around me. Her scent, her clothes, her countless books.

I hadn't looked at my phone in days, I got texts from my mom and her dad every now and then. But responding felt exhausting.

I grabbed a cheap bottle of whiskey from the shelf. I examined the label, my eyes were puffy and red from the lack of sleep and numb tears. The fluorescent lights almost burned my irises. I had spent most of my time in the darkness, sleeping when the sun would rise.

But the darkness felt safer. I felt closer to her when the moon took the sky. I don't know why, maybe it was the stars? Whatever it was, it was the only thing I was holding onto.

"Pack of Marlboro Reds too", I placed the bottle on the counter, "ID?", the man asked.

I hadn't smoked in a long time. I used to only do it when it got really bad, my thoughts.

But it was just another excuse to feel something. Anything but the numbness.

I opened the bottle as soon as I left the store. I sipped it as I made my way down the sidewalk, back to her apartment.

I sat on the steps outside the building. I placed the open bottle of whiskey on my right side and focused on the pack of cigarettes. I placed the end of the cigarette between my lips and began to light the end of it.

I watched as the flame burned through the raw tobacco and rolling paper. I inhaled deeply, letting the smoke completely fill my lungs. The high drifted to my mind clouding it with a false sense of comfort and warmth. It only lasted a few moments, but got it felt good.

I continued to sip the bottle, smoking my way through the pack of cigarettes as I wallowed in my thoughts.

The choices I made and their consequences. I put myself in this situation, there was no one to blame but me. I knew what the possible outcomes were, I knew that going into this.

Yet I made my choice, and I can't change it. Because that was yesterday, and it was already tomorrow.

But I can think of what could've happened if I made a different choice. That's what I dwelled on. That if I told her what I saw that day. If I was honest with her from the start.

What would the outcome have been?

I knew it would've been a lot less painful.

Yet here I am. Drinking away my liver and smoking away my lungs. Hoping to feel something other than the numbness that consumed me. But that never really works, does it?

My thoughts were interrupted with a man running in my direction. But not just any man, Levi fucking Ackerman. I noticed his lip was bleeding along with his nose. He slowed down when he noticed it was me.

"Ackerman?", I knitted my brows, my eyes half lidded from the liquor and exhaustion. "Jesus you look like shit", he laughed, "Right back at you".

He sat beside me, for some reason I didn't mind. As much as I hated him, he looked like he was having a rough night too. Maybe he needed to company like I did.

"Can I get one?", he nodded to the cigarette in my hand, "Yeah", I handed him the pack.

We sat there in silence for a moment. Nothing needed to be said to understand the situation. Because we were both so wrapped up in our own minds.