Part 16 REWRITTEN

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by Dark_Moss

by Dark_Moss

Raven's POV

I yawn as I look out at the water. There's supposed to be an event today with the camp. Buuut I didn't tell Cal. Because I don't want to go and deal with all those people. If I were to tell him, he would make me go. He might even drag me there. I would rather not deal with lots of people. My anxiety is bad enough. I don't want to have a panic attack. I just hope no one tells Cal about the event. But knowing my luck. Someone is bound to tell Cal about it.

I'm pretty sure he is going to come find me soon and force me to go. He will probably tell me about how I need to meet more people and how I need to socialize more. Which I disagree with. I'm already at camp, isn't that enough? But noooo, Cal wants me to meet everyone. He wants me to make lots of friends. And he also wants me to find someone to date. For years Cal has been trying to find someone to set me up with. But everyone he wants me to date, I don't like them.

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear running. I look over and see Cal. And I already know what is happening. "You knew about the event, didn't you?" Cal asks. I smile and shake my head. But he doesn't believe me. "I don't know what you're talking about." I tell him, trying to not get in trouble with him. He raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. "Get up. Now. We're going." Cal tells me. He is already really annoyed and maybe a little mad at me. So I just get up. Ignoring my anxiety and fear.

He starts walking and I follow him. As we get closer I feel more and more power coming from the building. And my anxiety gets worse and worse. I silently curse and get mad at myself for not hiding before Cal came to find me. We walk into the building and I lose my breath for a moment. There's too many people here. I just want to run and hide. I wish I was back in my room curled up in a blanket. But I have to hide my feelings. Cal is already annoyed with me. So it's best I don't speak with him about how I'm feeling.

I can't express my feelings. I can't show any weakness. I can't be seen as weak. I've been through too much to be seen as weak. I can't let anyone else take advantage of me. So I remind myself to do what I have been doing for years. Fake it. Fake everything. Fake the confidence people think I have. Fake all the happiness. Everything. The only person I trust, Cal. Doesn't even know everything about me. I hide things too well. And because of that. Here I am.

In a room with the whole camp. Only trusting one of them. And that person is upset with me. I zone out though the announcement. It isn't until my pantheon starts talking to each other that I start paying attention. Cal is talking to Davis and is leaving me to stand away from everyone. That is until Magnus walks up to me. "Hi." They say quietly to me. I look at them. "Hi Magnus. Are you having a good time?" I ask. Pretending I'm not having a small panic attack.