𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

3/Cold feelings

Hayden's pov'

I look towards the stairs to see if Almira is coming down already, she's been up there getting ready for an hour now, just to take me to dinner.

"Almira?" I call and wait for her to answer and when she does I get up and head upstairs myself.

"Are you done yet?" I ask entering the room and seeing her sitting on her little vanity seat, looking at herself.
She looked nice, wearing a little dress since it was quite hot outside, her hair down and accessories decorating her neck ears and fingers.

A little purse in her hand as she got up and showed me, with a smile.
Asking for approval.

"You look fine," I nod at her, my face remaining blank.
I don't want to do too much, speaking my thoughts even though that's not such a bad idea, I mean my thoughts aren't lying.

"Are you ready?" She raise her eyebrows checking me over, I dont have a goddamn suit to wear out so I just wore what I always wear.
A pair of black straight legged jeans and a white graphic tee.

My hair messy, as I haven't gotten a haircut in weeks, the hairdresser was shit anyways, aways dreaded the thought of getting my haircut by an unprofessional fucker.

I'm going to ask Almira if I can get one though, I look like a fucking kid whose parents never care about what he looks like... that might offend some but, sorry?

"Yeah, lets go." I wave my hand and walk down stairs with her following.

...

"Um, I want to do somethings tomorrow, is that's ok with you?" I suddenly brake the silence between us and look at her droopy eyes.

After we left the restaurant we ate at we got back home and chilled on the couch with snacks watching a movie and it's pretty damn late.

"Yes, of course. Well do whatever you want tomorrow," she gives a lazy smile and then turned to the tv, her eyes slowly closing.

I hold a smile making its way onto my face and just watch as her head slowly slides down onto my shoulder.
Still feels weird to do this, the action making me feel something I've never felt before, I don't want to like it. It's way to soon, I'm supposed to get to know her good and bad side before I get
attached.
And get my feelings hurt.

Thought my feelings don't really matter to anyone, they never did. That's why I feel cold and trying to get some warmth from anything, but I'm not sure how I'll handle when it gets too hot.

Leaving my feelings aside, will I ever be able to try to warm up to anyone again? Probably not, because the pain would be way too much and I would probably suffer.

Almira's hand taking mine and snuggling more into me takes me out of my non stoping thoughts and I tilt my head to look at her face, that was so peacefully sleeping.

I pull my body out of the couch and turn off the tv slowly sliding my arms under her body and hoisting her up in the air.

"Hm," she moans, sliding her arms around my neck. I take a deep breath looking away from her, before I start walking upstairs.

"I was comfortable, why did you take me away?" Her soft voice spoke from my chest and I stopped, biting my bottom lip. Fuck, now I feel bad. But she'll feel much comfier in her bed.

"Your bed is better, sweetheart." I whisper and enter her bedroom.

"You're so warm," she whispers hugging me tighter, so when I went to drop her into bed she wouldn't let go.

I sigh. "Let go, Almira. I want to tuck you in, it's late," I don't pull her hands but let her take them off herself and she slowly does, opening her eyes.

"Why do you sound so mean?" She frowns, pouting her lips.

I look away and try to focus on tucking her in.
"Because I am." I shrug.

"You're bipolar, that's what you are." I raise an eyebrow amused. She's not wrong thought, my moods change so quickly I don't even notice at times. I absolutely hate it.

"Alright miss affectionate, I see how it is." I straighten up after I think she's alright.

"Now I'm cold," she opens her eyes to glare at me and I give her side eyes.

"You little liar, it's boiling in here."
When you're bad at asking me to sleep next to you...
"Goodnight now, I'm tired." I wave my hand, walking towards the door. Her head up, watching me as I leave.

"Goodnight," her voice comes out cracking but I ignore it.
Am I supposed to be her caretaker now? What is this.
I mean I've been taking care of little kids for the past three years but it wasn't the same, I don't know how I'm going to make this work.

It's the first day after all, there many other days to make progress together.

I close the door and take my pants off and then my tee and just leaving them at the bottom of the bed on the floor before sliding under the gray silk sheets, Almira's put for me.

I look out the window, the moon shining a little brighter tonight.

I take another deep breath before closing my eyes and try not to think much of anything and focus on getting a good night sleep.

...