Lock & Key *Camren*

Chapter 85

Camila's POV:

I Stared up at the stars thinking about everything that Lauren had told me, trying my hardest to remember what happened to me, who was blackmailing me, if i even knew who my blackmailer was, i can't believe i was so stupid as to leave everyone behind and do as the person said, i wish i had just told someone, could've saved us both so much heartache.

I couldn't help but smile when i heard Lauren snore, sleeping peacefully on my chest.

I have no idea how i am going to react if she is pregnant, of course i am going to support her, i meant that when i said it, but am i ready to be a mum? i don't even know if i want to be a mum, i am terrible with kids, i am so awkward, i wouldn't know how to change a diaper or change it's clothes, i would be useless, that is of course if Lauren wants to keep the baby.

She probably will, i saw how it destroyed her when she aborted her first child, i don't think that she could do it again, especially knowing that it lowers the chances of her having more children in the future, i couldn't blame her for keeping this child. 

We're both 20 years of age, that's around the sort of time people start having children right? it's not like we would be doing anything wrong, and we all agreed we would be taking our next album slowly because we want to make it perfect, so we would be okay with touring, but i don't think Lauren would want to be apart of fifth harmony anymore if she had a child, she would probably want to disappear off of the face of the planet and probably try and do night school to get her degree.

I sighed out loud to myself and closed my eyes.

"Thoughts weighing heavy on yourself?"

I jumped slightly and looked down at Lauren careful that i didn't wake her before looking over at Dinah.

"Kind of" I gave her a small smile.

Dinah walked over to the garden table and picked up one of the chairs bringing it over to the swing and placing it beside me before sitting down in it.

"She told you everything?" Dinah questioned.

"Yeah" I nodded.

"So what are you thinking?" Dinah asked leaning back in the chair. 

"That i am going to be a terrible mother if she is pregnant and decides to keep it" I told my best friend honestly.

"Don't say that Mila because it is far from the truth, i've seen the way you act with Sofi and all of my siblings and cousins, you're amazing with them" Dinah smiled softly. 

"Yeah but they're kids, toddlers, they're not tiny little fragile babies that if you drop you're going to kill them, and you have to change their diapers, and put them in clothes and be careful with their head, their like china Dinah, you drop it and it smashes into pieces, you know how clumsy i am, i honestly don't know if i could do it" I turned my head so that i was facing Dinah, keeping my arms around Lauren to stop her from falling off the swing.

"It all just comes natural Mila, you'll know what you're doing when it comes to it, you just go with it"

"Yeah i guess so" I sighed.

"Now what are you really worried about?" Dinah questioned.

"What do you mean?" I asked furrowing my brow. 

"You always do this, when something big is about to happen, you think of all the reasons why you would be bad about it, but there is always an underlying truth behind your words"

"I don't think i'm ready, or if i even want a child" I told her while looking down at Lauren to check she was still sleeping.

"No one is ever ready Mila, even the parents that plan for a child, they don't get what they expected, Parents don't realize how hard it is until it actually happens, no one is ever prepared or ready enough to have a child, but they just go with it and wing it, and Mila for as long as i've known you, you've wanted kids, we've stayed up at least 5 nights just talking about the future and you would say that you could picture mini Camrens, and it would make my heart swell because you guys would be the perfect little family, and i was picturing it all with you, so what's changed?" Dinah leaned forward slightly in her seat and placed her hand on my leg.