ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

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ADA - Attention Deficient Assholes

Kunikida: Where the FUCK is Dazai's scrawny ass

Kenji: Bad word :o

Kyoka: Shut up.

Ranpo: probably with his boyfriend

Atsushi: dazai has a boyfriend??

Tanizaki: he's GAY???

Naomi: duh

Yosano: strong bi vibes

Dazai: guyssss :(

Kunikida: WHY ARE YOU NOT AT THIS MEETING, FUKUZAWA IS ON MY ASS

Dazai: funny story that

Kunikida: Dazai I swear to God you will not live to die

Dazai: well! i was taking a stroll with my ARCH ENEMY NOT BOYFRIEND and he shoved me in the river and i kinda let the current whisk me away

Haruno: Do you need me to track your phone so we can find you? :)

Tanizaki: you can do that?

Haruno: :) I know your secrets

Tanizaki: Don't do it

Ranpo: HOT GOSS HOT GOSS

Yosano: ew don't say goss

Ranpo: goss

Yosano: STOP

Dazai: GUYS I'M SCARED

Yosano: stay scared

Ranpo: girlboss gatekeep gaslight

Atsushi: guys this is serious we could lose dazai!!

Kunikida: Please God listen to my prayers

Dazai: never mind guys tachihara found me! :D

Kunikida: God you have failed me once again

Fukuzawa: You're in big trouble Dazai.

Dazai: nvm staying at the port mafia guys this is my villain arc

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Port Mafia babessss xoxo

Chuuya: i need some aspirin

Tachihara: join the club, your boyfriend won't stop talking

Chuuya: HE IS NOT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND

Tachihara: husband then idc

Akutagawa: don't speak lowly of dazai

Gin: Shut up bro you simp

Kouyou: don't simp for a taken man

Chuuya: HES NOT MY MAN I LITERALLY PUSHED HIM INTO A RIVER

Elise: the river of love

Chuuya: PIPE DOWN PIPSQUEAK

Higuchi: HOW DARE YOU

Chuuya: i'm not even apologising

Elise: i can get you fired

Hirotsu: Then he can be with his lover in the ADA

Chuuya: i swear to GOD i WILL drink rats poison so you rodents will leave me ALONE

Tachihara: ouch that hurt my feewings

Chuuya: i will slit your throat

Tachihara: save it for dazai loverboy

Tachihara: WHO btw is trying to kill himself again please just take him

Chuuya: fucks sake