Without Him

XXXV

I feel my head pounding. I look around and see I'm surrounded by white walls. Hmm? I'm confused. What is this? How did I get here? And most importantly where's Athena.

I walk around seeing if I can find anything at all that will tell me anything. I see my mother just standing.

"Mom." I yell out to her. I run and run towards her.

"My son, I missed you." She's hysterical like she can't believe her eyes.

Confused I lift my eyebrow up, "What are you saying? And why am I here. Where's Athena?" I ask all these questions, nothing is making sense.

"Who's Athena?" She looks at me like I'm a little crazy. She doesn't know who Athena is. What the fuck?

"What you mean, I'm dating her." I tell my mother who obviously isn't listening.

"No! You're married." Married what? I look down at my hand and noticed a wedding ring on my finger.

"Who am I married to?" I need to make sure.

"To your wife of course. Debra." No no no... fuck.

"What no what?" I need to get out of here, I need to leave but I can't.

I can't get out of here.

"Kyle." I hear an echo of my name, I don't know where it's coming from.

"Kyle." It's getting louder.

"Kyle baby." Athena.

"Athena where are you." I look left and right. Running everywhere like I'm a psychopath.

"I'm right here." I finally found her but wait why does she look like that.

Like a hologram.

"Athena baby I miss you." I tell her, this has been absolute hell.

"I miss you so much, but baby you need to open your eyes." I can't, I need to be with her.

"No! I don't want to leave you. Please don't make me."

"I'm sorry baby, but you have to. Please for me." I can do this just for her.

"What about you, don't you need to open your eyes as well." She shakes her head. I blink.

"Not yet baby, you focus on yourself first. I'll always be with you." Her voice thins out like she's getting farther from me.

"No Athena." I yelled. No use.

"Open your eyes." No not yet.

"Kyle." Stop saying my name let me sleep.

"I miss you Kyle open your eyes." My sister. Fuck.

Maybe it is time to open my eyes.

I start to blink, why is this so hard.

I open them and I see lights and a machine over to my left.

I did it I opened my eyes, groaning letting whoever is in the room know I'm awake.

I try and sit up but all I feel is pain.

"Kyle." I take that voice to be my sister.

"Becca." My voice is hoarse.

"God, you idiot I think we lost you." I wipe her tears.

"You'll never lose the strong Kyle Green." Everyone chuckles but it makes me think of one thing.

"Athena. Where is she." At this point in time the nurse came in and asked me a bunch of questions everything if that sort.

"She's... she had more life threatening injuries so she's in a coma." What.

"Huh? No! How long?" Fuck stop this nightmare please.

"You've been out for almost two weeks. So has Athena. It's no telling when she'll wake up but her family has been right there with her. They also came here a few times to see how you was doing." My dad tells me. Fucking hell all of this could've been avoided.

She missed her birthday no fuck I had something really special planned. I knew the dinner wasn't the only thing she had planned for my birthday. This is some fuck shit.

"You have a lucky one. I see how Athena is good for you." Yea but now she's in this mess because of me. If I wouldn't have-

"I can see what you're thinking and stop, yes it was your crazy psychotic ass ex wife but you had no part in it." My mother tells me in her 'don't argue with me' voice.

I still can't shake that this is my fault. I want to go see no I need to go see Athena. I can't be in here while she's in another room.

"I need to go see Athena." I voice out loud.

Fuck that! I'm going to go see her, don't care.

"Honey, I don't-" I cut her off, sorry mom.

"No mom, I really need to see her, I can't fathom not seeing how she's doing." I voice.

She nods and gets a nurse to take me to her. I learned her room is upstairs given she had more injuries than me. Honestly I feel fine just a little pain here and there, but knowing my girlfriend is in a coma doesn't sit right.

The nurse clears me to go, but I apparently have to be careful so I'm in a fucking wheelchair. I laugh in my head. It's pathetic but let's not dwell on this.

I'm just happy I get to see my girlfriend.

We head to the elevator my parents, sister, brother and the nurse as we head to see my favorite person.

"Is her parents still here?" I ask.

The nurse nods his head, "Yes as I'm aware they are." We get out the elevator and he tells me the room number, 176A. I look for it until I found it.

My heart hammering in my chest. Fuck so not the time to be scared.

My sister wheels me until we are outside the door, my hand shaking I knock on it. The door opens immediately and I've come face to face with her mom.

A sad smile on her face but nonetheless she hugs me tightly. The throat feels so tight. I'm inside the room.

Just by being over by the door I can tell she had more sustainable injuries than me. Which is fucked up.

Her mom whispers in my ear, "Go talk to her, we'll all be outside." I nod and wheel myself to her.

Fuck!

I stare at her just wanting her to wake up. To talk to me, tell me this is a bad nightmare, that'll be over soon.

But it isn't and she can't.

"Baby," I start fuck here come the tears. "I miss you baby, please come back to me. We need to get married and have kids like we said. We need more dates planned and our birthday surprises. Please don't think about leaving me in this world alone I couldn't bare it. You're my everything and more. Please open those pretty little eyes for me. Fuck I miss you so fucking much." The tears wouldn't stop. I feel like all this is my fault.

It's my fault somehow. I don't know.

Would life be better if she didn't know me. If I wasn't to exist in her mind.

I hope to never find out, it will crush me more than anything.

I've heard people don't wake up from comas for a while like months and years.

God I hope not, I couldn't survive months let alone years without my woman.

My girl, my fucking queen. She's the breath of fresh air and oh my fuck will she always be the death of me.

I look over back at her. "Please baby, please come back to me. I need you. I fucking live for you!" I pleaded and cried until I feel asleep with my head half on her pillow.