Without Him

XVI

Everything with Kyle has been a bliss, he's so sweet, compassionate and very sexy.

The sad thing is that Kyle leaves to go back home in two days, which makes me scared at the end of the day.

I don't know where our relationship stands as of a label but I know that I'm falling for him more and more as each day goes by.

I haven't told him how I actually feel because I'm scared he might think the same, or feel the same which is outrageous because he looks at me likes he's in love but I still want to know his actual genuine feelings for me.

I don't want to go too fast but at the rate it seems like we have. He's stayed at my place for the past couple of nights. He loves my house.

Right now we have a movie on, just laying on the couch while I'm looking at him and he's actually watching the movie.

Kyle turns his head and notices that I'm looking at him. "What babygirl?" He questions after him seeing me look at him.

"What's wrong." At this point the movie is paused and I'm straddling his lap.

I open my mouth but nothing came out, what could I say exactly. Not let him go back home, I couldn't tell him that.

"I-I'm scared." I whispered.

"Why you scared baby." I close my eyes briefly while he strokes my hair.

"About us and when you leave in two days." I whispered looking down at his shirt.

He hugs me, "Baby look at me." He says in a soft voice and presses his lips against my forehead.

Doing what he says I look up to him with my glossy eyes trying not to let tears fall.

"Baby, I know that you're scared about what's gonna happen between us but I promise you I'm not giving up on you and I mean that. You mean a lot to me and I would love to just keep this going on even if we are far apart."

"But I promise you I will communicate with you and you have to do the same. I'll fly back and forth to see you." He kisses my lips.

Something else has been on my mind about this whole "relationship" or ours but I don't know how to bring it up. I guess I'm over reacting at this point.

I know Kyle cares about me deeply, hell I care for him the same maybe even more.

"I see you're deep in thought, care to share."

"What are we?" I question not beating around the bush.

His eyebrows raise, "Like as in labels go I guess." I explain further.

"Babe, do you think I would suggest flying back and forth to see you that we wouldn't be together. We are together, boyfriend and girlfriend."

I blush and hit his chest, he chuckles and gives me a kiss.

"Baby, I care about you so much just to let you go which I'm never doing unless you say it. Our relationship and how fast we go is your call." He smiles at me a soft and work smile. The one I live to see in his handsome face.

"God you're so hot and handsome." I blush as I said that out loud.

"Well thank you and you're so beautiful my love, every part of you inside and out." He smiles warmly at me, making butterflies form in my stomach.

He's everything to me and I don't want to let him go, but when he finds out... I don't want to finish that. I really hope he won't leave me.

I look up at him and just stare at his green eyes, his handsome face. Just admiring him.

Shit

Fuck

God damn!

Just staring in his eyes made me realize that I am in fact in love with him.

All these thoughts start stirring in my head. What if he doesn't love me? What if he only wants me for sex? What if....

"What's wrong babe?" Kyle questions lightly.

I realize my smile is long gone and have a sad expression on my face.

I shake away the feeling.

"Nothing I'm fine." I lie with a fake smile.

"No you're not. Don't lie to me! What's wrong?"

He won't let it go will he, "I'm fucking fine." I snapped at him.

He looks hurt and backs away from me, "Okay, I see it's something and I'll let you cool down. I'll be back in an hour tops." I smile and kiss him.

I nod my head as he looked at me and left.

Fuck I didn't mean it.

I need a drink or more.

I grab my car keys and wallet as I left the house. I head to one of my favorite bars. 'Sky's' It's the best and the only one I go to.

I park my car in the parking lot and enter in through the back. I walk over to the stool and call for 3 shots of tequila with lime.

Drowning my sorrows in alcohol is the best. Hint the sarcasm.

Feeling a little tipsy, I see a guy in the corner of my eye sit besides me.

"Hey there beautiful." He says turning towards me sipping what I think to be scotch.

I raise my eyebrow, "Do you say this to all the women in the bar you see?"

He chuckles and I find myself smiling.

"Not always but I see I got a smile out of you. I'm Aidan." He sticks his hand out for me to shake it.

"I'm Athena, nice to meet you." I shake his hand and sip my drink. I see him give me flirty looks.

The alcohol in me is taking over. I lean over to him and kiss him. Totally forgetting I have a boyfriend.

He takes dominance and holds power in the kiss. His hand glides to my mind thigh and I'm feeling hot all over. His tongue enters and that's when I realize what I'm doing.

I back away, "What's wr-

"Omg I have a boyfriend and I'm kissing some stranger." I freak and turn around to leave and that's when I see Kyle with a hurt and angry expression.

But more importantly he looks like his trust is broken.

I run towards him, "Kyle I'm- " He cuts me off, "Save it!" And storms out the bar.

I ran to follow him but I see he already left.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fucking hell Athena what is wrong with you!