Guns and Roses

Chapter No 08

y/n pov 

I was sitting silently in the passenger seat as Han was busy maneuvering through the jam-packed road. looking through the car window just dwelling in the most random thoughts. what happened a while back at home wasn't even hovering near. my mind was just jumping from one thing to another some even made me laugh, internally. laughing out externally out of nowhere would freak Han out.

the car stopped at a signal and my eyes went to a poster on a signboard with some precautions for food poisoning and expiration dates of food and stuff.

poison. expiry date. 

does poison have an expiry date? 

"what happens when the poison reaches its expiry date? does it come less poisonous or more poisonous?"

the silence was all that I received thinking that it was in my head because that's what I intended it to be but when I heard the honking of cars from behind my eyes went to the front mirror to see Han looking at me horrified. did I say it out loud?

"What?"

"Forget the art gallery you need to see a doctor."

see, coming out of nowhere did freak him out. he hurriedly pulled the gear and pressed the accelerator to get moving before he gets murdered by the drivers waiting behind, frustrated on an early morning just trying to get to their jobs before their boss finds out their missing.

"yah yah yah there's nothing like that it was--"

"I get that you're angry and upset but that's no solution. think about your grandfather. he'd be so disappointed in you. no, you can't do this you can't."

"what the---"

he was just panic driving right now if that's a thing, rambling on nonsense. was he thinking I was going to kill someone? well after what happened with me at home if someone was to say something like this it would make some sense but, no seriously. he wasn't even letting me explain what I meant.

"I get that Se-Ri is a witch and just downright annoying but you can't do that. killing her will get you to jail and then---"

"hold your horses, Han!! it was a hypothetical question. and where did Mrs. Kim came from."

I roared over his voice stopping his train of nonsense rambling as it fell silent until he gained his composure back. it made me laugh how he would straight up say a murder fact himself but gets like this when I say so.

"a hypothetical question??"

 "a bit unusual for a regular morning but...sorry the thought just crossed my mind seeing that poster and I let it out accidentally."

"unusual my foot you had me there for a second you dum--...... Uhm sorry I mean... try to be a little quiet with your thoughts, won't you?"

he said correcting his tone and wording not that I minded him being like that. it was a bit comfortable to be with him without that 'miss' but I couldn't convince him of removing it so there's that.

"Why would you think i'd do that. after all these years if that's what i wnated to do i would've done it way earlier."

"because that's what she makes me do. she makes me want to give her a piece of her own mind. to just have her vanis--"

"han"

his jaw clenched as he let out those words but I stopped him before he went further with it. we were on the road and having him like that while driving really wasn't a good idea. he wasn't too good with anger taking over him.

"your feelings and mine are different. you want to do that and you might with enough freedom who knows, but I can't .even if someone else has her at gunpoint I'll never encourage them to pull the trigger."

"And why is that?"

his question to my statement was almost immediate as if he knew what I was going to say and had it ready at the tip of his tongue. I smiled, feeling sadness consuming me as I responded to him.

"she's a mother, Han. I know what it's like not to have one. I'll never deprive someone of such love. I don't care how she treats me. I never belonged to her, to begin with, but she, she has people she belongs to, people who belong to her. a family. I wouldn't destroy it."

my voice turned to a whisper towards the end as my vision blurred, and tears dropped down on my hands on my lap. sometimes I found it so unfair I didn't have a family, I could've lived with it, somehow I did, and I still am but why did I have to be reminded of it every single second? as if I'm the reason for my parent's death. 

Se-Ri liked to believe that.

she believed it was me that caused her husband's death but did I know? I was barely able to walk on my own feet at that time but I was always blamed and hated for that and I always took it because I had no other choice.  

it was quiet after that as he just focused on the road while I wiped my tears turning away and staring out the window again.

"y/n"

my eyes found his in the front view mirror as he looked at me. his eyes filled with that awkward tenderness trying to comfort me. I smiled his way.

"don't worry I've always held on and i'll keep holding on as long as i have people who love me."

you and grandfather,

stay with me.

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so, once again like and comment,

it helps me improve.

also don't you think it's going slow? but fastening it up doesn't sit well with me 😆

bear with me dear readers. 

have fun.