Because You Are Love (Karlnap)

Chapter 27 - Have a body again, under gravity, in air

"Don't forget your hat." Karl called out once Sapnap began heading for the bedroom door, now fully dressed in his outfit for the rodeo. Karl was holding out Sapnap's signature black baseball cap, walking towards him.

"That's not my hat tonight." Sapnap smiled, taking the hat from Karl's hand and tossing it on the bed. Karl tilted his head to the side, looking between Sapnap and the discarded hat.

Sapnap walked past Karl in silence, heading for his closet. After a minute or two of rummaging through his old belongings, he finally found what he was looking for. Sapnap soon stepped out of his closet with a black cowboy hat on.

Karl instantly started laughing when Sapnap appeared.

"Sap, no! No, take that off!" Karl cried out between his laughs. Sapnap's smile continued to grow as he eliminated the space between them, reaching out to take Karl's hand. Karl was practically jumping with how much he was giggling, extending his hand for Sapnap.

"I'm not Sap tonight, I'm Nicolas, the lonesome cowboy." Sapnap said with his thickest southern accent, leaning down and kissing the back of Karl's hand. Karl squealed and jumped in place, pulling his hand away as quickly as he had given it to Sapnap.

"More like the handsome cowboy." Karl said once he had finally stopped laughing, walking up to Sapnap and adjusting the stray hairs that had fallen into his face. "Oh stop that, let me fix it." Karl said with a smile, bringing his hand to the side of Sapnap's face to prevent him from turning away.

Sapnap was trying desperately to avert his gaze from Karl. It took a lot of practice, but Sapnap no longer blushed from physical affection with Karl. However, no matter how often Karl complimented him, he still found himself blushing every time.

"You stop, I'm going for the rugged cowboy look tonight." Sapnap finally said, successfully walking away from Karl. He wasn't surprised when he heard Karl chuckling behind him.

"Not sure how many cowgirls are going to be into that." Karl said with another laugh, catching up to Sapnap. He couldn't help but hesitate, his hand freezing halfway extended for his doorknob.

Cowgirls.

Sapnap quickly reached for the doorknob, opening the door for Karl. He was thankful that Karl must've not noticed his stalling pace, as he walked by completely unbothered. Sapnap wasn't sure why, but part of him felt sick to his stomach thinking about how Karl was still under the impression he was straight.

Not only had he come out to Andrew, but apparently Jen had been suspecting something was going on, which he could only assume was a reference to his sexuality. So the fact that Karl, the person who he felt the closest to in the whole world, was still so oblivious to such a vital part of his identity, it almost felt like some big cosmic joke.

Sapnap tried to shrug off the feeling, remembering that it was better this way. If Karl was in the dark about his sexuality, there were no threats to their friendship- and Sapnap valued their friendship more than anything.

Karl walked ahead, Sapnap trailing a bit behind. He wished he could get a better grasp on his emotions, all too aware of how Karl seemed to pick up on every shift in his mood. The last thing he wanted was to bring down the lighthearted mood he worked so hard to bring back.

"So, where does one attend a rodeo anyway?" Karl asked, his smile from their previous conversation had transformed into something much smaller.

"The NRG Arena out in Houston. Same one we went to when I was a kid." Sapnap sighed, keeping a short distance between him and Karl. Based on Karl's tone, Sapnap figured that he must've already picked up that he was basically sulking.

"Wha-" Sapnap nearly ran into Karl's back when he stopped walking abruptly, standing directly in front of him.

"This isn't going to be as scary as I think it's gonna be, right?" Karl asked.

"Scary? What, no! Karl, what do you think happens at a rodeo?" Sapnap laughed for the first time since he started overthinking about Karl's perception of his sexuality. It seemed almost fitting that Karl's biggest stressor about going to a rodeo was wondering if it would be scary.

"Don't people, like, ride bulls and get thrown in the air? Aren't rodeos where they wave the red flag and make all the bulls pissed off? Don't people get hurt?" Karl asked in rapid succession, making Sapnap continue to laugh as he stepped around him.

"Yeah, but that stuff's not scary!" Sapnap didn't make it more than a foot away from Karl before he reached out and held onto Sapnap's arm, stopping him in his tracks.

"You know how I am around blood." Karl said, his face dead serious. Sapnap looked over his shoulder in the direction of his family's voices traveling up the stairwell.

"Look, there's a bunch of stuff to do at a rodeo. It's not just cowboys getting knocked around by bulls. If I can tell it's going to be a rough match, I'll take you to go do something else. Promise." Sapnap said with a small smile, reaching over to adjust the collar of Karl's flannel.

"Thanks, Sap." Karl answered with a relieved smile, sliding his hand down Sapnap's arm until they were hand in hand.

"I'm not kissing your hand again." Sapnap laughed, pulling his hand away from Karl. "You clearly didn't appreciate it enough the first time." He continued over his shoulder, beginning to descend the staircase.

"April 23rd, September 18th, January 26th, March 4th, and today, April 15th." Karl started listing off from his place at the top of the stairwell.

Sapnap turned around, complete confusion written all over his face. He had absolutely no idea what the significance of those dates were to Karl. Sapnap blinked rapidly, convinced his eyes must have been deceiving him. There was no way Karl's cheeks could actually be that pink.

"Those are, uh, the dates of all the times you've kissed my hands. There was also the 13th, the night you first got here. You kissed the top of my head on the swing. The point is, I remember the dates because of how much I appreciate it." Karl explained, looking around the hall. Sapnap began walking up the stairs slowly, Karl's face appearing to redden further with each step Sapnap took.

"You remember all those dates... because they were days when I kissed you?" Sapnap asked slowly, finally stepping back up to the same level as Karl. "Hey, if I can't hide, neither can you." Sapnap continued, gently holding Karl's chin to turn his head so they were face to face.

"I mean, is that a bad thing?" Karl asked. Even though Sapnap was holding Karl's face in his hand, Karl was still refusing to make eye contact.

"No, it's not a bad thing. It's... It's a really nice thing." Sapnap answered, pausing once Karl finally looked him in the eyes.

"I know it's cheesy, and probably even weird- but you were just so 'anti-affection' when we first met that I found myself remembering the days when I thought we made progress. So when you kissed my hand that first time- the date just stuck with me and-"

"You don't need to justify it. I just wish I knew sooner that this sort of thing made you so happy." Sapnap cut Karl off mid ramble. "I would've done it more often if I had known." Sapnap's voice was soft, his grip on Karl's chin tightening when Karl tried looking away again.

"I'm just dumb and sentimental, you don't need to do anything more often just to make me happy or-"

Karl's words failed to appear when Sapnap turned Karl's face, pressing his lips against his cheek. Sapnap pulled away slowly, dropping his hand from Karl's chin and taking a small step back.

A smile grew on Sapnap's face when Karl brought a hand up to hold the cheek he kissed, as he caught a glimpse of just how red Karl's face was in comparison to his hand.

"It doesn't just make you happy." Sapnap assured Karl. For the first time, Sapnap could feel his own cheeks heating up but didn't feel the need to hide it.

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(1,396 words) i mean, gotta kiss the homies...