Because You Are Love (Karlnap)

Chapter 26 - Take a breath, now. Take another

Karl and Sapnap left his room after realizing not only did Sapnap not have anything for Karl to borrow, but he also didn't have anything very appropriate to wear himself. Sapnap and Karl were both still laughing about how Karl's brother Sean made him take off the flannel he was planning on wearing, saying he looked like he was starring in a bad western movie.

"Honestly, tell Sean that he sucks!" Sapnap laughed, separating himself from Karl's side to knock on Andrew's door.

Andrew opened his door, confusion on his face when he saw Sapnap and Karl standing before him. Especially considering their last conversation, he looked surprised to see Sapnap with a smile on his face at all.

"Let Karl borrow some clothes for tonight. You were right." Sapnap said with an eye roll, putting his arm around Karl's waist to push him into the room. Andrew stepped to the side quickly, letting Karl walk in.

"Wait, where are you going?" Andrew asked as soon as he turned around to see Sapnap walking away.

"You guys are built like string beans, nothing in your closet is going to fit me." Sapnap laughed, gesturing to his much stockier build. "I'm going to go rummage through dad's clothes." Sapnap pointed to their parents' bedroom, which was directly across the hall.

"Seriously?" Karl whined, looking around Andrew's room, obviously uncomfortable.

"I'll be back in a second." Sapnap said with a laugh and a wave, walking into his parents' room. As soon as he shut the door behind him, he leaned against the door, his smile instantly fading. He was at war with himself. Sapnap wished he could just hate Andrew for polluting his mind with such a thought. The only thing stopping him from doing that was the fact Andrew was right.

"Pull yourself together." Sapnap mumbled to himself, pulling his back away from the door and opening his eyes. He nearly stumbled back into the door when his gaze instantly landed on Jen, lounging on the sunbed with a book in her hand.

"Shit- sorry, I was just going to grab, uh-"

"Clothes for tonight. I heard you in the hall." Jen said with a soft smile, looking at Sapnap with a bit of concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, uh. Sorry." Sapnap said again, walking quickly towards the closet.

"I know I'm not your mom." Jen spoke up, making Sapnap freeze in his tracks. "I'm not your mom, but I am a mom, so I... notice things. And just because I'm not your mom doesn't mean I don't love you unconditionally." Jen continued, closing her book as Sapnap looked over his shoulder slowly.

"What do you mean by that?" Sapnap asked with a painfully fake laugh.

"I just want to remind you that I love you. Nothing could ever change that." Jen smiled, standing up from the sunbed. "Your dad isn't always the easiest person to talk to, okay, maybe he's one of the most difficult people to talk to." Jen said with a slight laugh after Sapnap scoffed, as she headed to the bedroom door. "But, I've been told that I'm a good person to confide in, if you ever need someone to talk to. That's all." She finished with another smile, stepping out into the hall.

Even after he was alone in the room, Sapnap still stood frozen in front of the closet, his heart pounding out of his chest.

She knows. She knows.

How could she know? What things did she notice? What does she want him to confide in her?

Sapnap reached out to the closet's frame for support, feeling like he was going to throw up. He closed his eyes, doing his best to slow down his breathing. He doesn't have time for this. He wasn't even planning on leaving Karl alone with Andrew for this long.

Sapnap pushed through the anxiety rising in his chest, grabbing the first t-shirt and flannel he saw in his dad's closet. He paused just before opening the bedroom door, releasing his white-knuckled grip on the handle.

After another series of deep breaths, Sapnap finally felt like he could face Karl without giving him more reason to worry. He swung open the bedroom door, the sounds of laughter flooding the hall. Sapnap walked slowly to Andrew's door, pushing it open with several creaks.

Karl was standing in the middle of the room, Andrew was sitting on his bed, and Jen was leaning against the dresser- smiles on all of their faces.

Karl had kept his ripped black jeans on but changed into a white t-shirt and the purple flannel Jen was wearing a minute ago, posing in the center of the room for Andrew and Jen.

"Do I look like a real cowboy?" Karl asked Sapnap as soon as his eyes landed on him, using an atrocious southern accent.

"You look like a moron." Sapnap answered, completely unable to hide his smile growing from ear to ear. Karl was giggling, walking over to Sapnap and picking up the clothes he had chosen, which were draped over his arm.

"Boo, you're no fun. Black on black?" Karl asked, scanning the t-shirt and flannel. Sapnap had ended up grabbing a plain black t-shirt and a flannel that was primarily black with a few thin red and white lines.

"I like the basics." Sapnap shrugged, taking back the clothes. Karl rolled his eyes playfully, heading back into Andrew's closet to grab the clothes he had changed out of.

"Your turn, Nick. I told you we wanted lots of pictures." Jen said with a smile, pulling out her phone.

"We're not even leaving for a few hours, why would I-"

"Just get dressed." Jen interrupted with a laugh, nodding her head towards the closet. Karl had just walked out, his sweater and white button-up draped over his arm. Sapnap rolled his eyes, heading out of the bedroom.

"Let me at least go get some jeans on." Sapnap said over his shoulder, already heading for his own room. He wasn't surprised to hear Karl calling after him when he was at the end of the hall, sliding across the hardwood floor in his socks to catch up.

"Do you want me to bring your stuff up for you?" Sapnap asked, reaching out to take Karl's clothes. Karl laughed, handing them over, before stepping ahead of Sapnap and up the small staircase.

"I was coming to watch you change, but you can carry my stuff if you want." Karl had a beaming smile as he looked over his shoulder, continuing to race up the stairs once Sapnap began chasing after him.

Karl entered the room first, jumping directly into Sapnap's bed. Once Sapnap entered and reached out for Karl, and Karl held his hands up in defense.

"Bed is safe! I'm in the safe zone!" Karl pleaded, swatting away Sapnap's hands.

"Wha-" Sapnap couldn't even finish his thought, as he began laughing. He hadn't heard of such childish rules in years. Karl wasn't even laughing, he was just smiling up at Sapnap, watching as he laughed heartily.

"Whatever, enjoy the show from the safe zone." Sapnap laughed, tossing the clothes he was carrying to the side, already pulling off his shirt. He was doing his best to not look at Karl, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

The way Karl was smiling at him. That was Sapnap's favorite smile of Karl's. He never really knew what made him smile so brightly, but whenever Karl smiled like that, it never failed to make Sapnap's heart skip a beat. That smile alone reminded him of all the reasons he fell for Karl in the first place.

Karl's smile, the sound of his high-pitched laugh, how he was the first person to make Sapnap realize how important physical touch was to him, his ability to make Sapnap happy on even his darkest days, and so much more. There was no one in the world who knew him better than Karl did. Hell, Karl probably knew Sapnap better than he knew himself.

Karl continued to giggle to himself, whistling a few catcalls while Sapnap changed, making Sapnap's smile grow even more.

He was undoubtedly in love with him.

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(1,409 words) i feel like i've been talking about the yeehaw arc for so long and literally the only yeehaw thing to happen so far is they put on some flannel shirts lmao. very very very excited for the chapter coming out on monday though :))))