De Novo

Chapter 40

Yongsun

The food was delightful and so is the time we spent together. Moonbyul took care of everything, even spoon-feeding me the various food served at our mini table. Moreover, she was also extra sweet that night. Always makes me laugh with the silly dad jokes she found on the internet and her funny gestures and faces that I find rather cute and entertaining. It was fantastic. That was the best night of my life.. or so I thought.

It was all perfect, not until she confess something that made me question what we really are and where I fit in her life, now and in the future.

"Yong, what if I made a mistake that will cause you to leave me? Would I at least be forgiven?"

She said it so suddenly after we ate. We lay on the blanket she had spread out on the grassy ground, watching the quiet horizon above. I was stunned, as well as muted after she spilled those words. I'm not quite sure, but something within me was telling me that she did something wrong behind my back at some point, something so serious that she believes I will leave her if I find out.

And I'm dying to know what it is.

I remained silent for the last minute or two, just listening to her heartbeat which I think was beating nervously. I raise my head from where I laying, which is on her chest, and look her straight in her eyes..

What she did made me so anxious that I could feel my heart beating so fast it was about to burst through my throat.

She averts her gaze.

Moonbyul looks away as if she is unable to meet my gaze.. because she knows that if she looks at me, I would know something is not right.

"Why.. did you do something.. unforgivable?"

I manage to ask and completely lift myself out of her hold. I sat up, facing her tense expression, as she gradually raised herself out of her current position as well. I was watching her every move, and every second of it was agonizing, especially since I could tell by her expression that she had something to confess at this moment.

As Moonbyul finally sat and faced me, she took my hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. I didn't like how she was acting or what she was about to say, but I knew I had to muster the courage to hear everything she had pilled up in her sleeves.

I look at our intertwined hands and the nervous feeling somehow fades. It was at least a second, a second of pure love and affection, and it was enough for me to keep myself calm.

"I.."

"I have something to say, and I know you'd hate me for it, but I don't want to keep any secrets, let alone lie to someone I genuinely love." She started.

"Yongsun, I love you. The moment you opened the door and caught me and that girl doing something that you probably regretted your entire life, I know at that moment I wanted you. That's why I cut off the time I had with that girl and followed you inside the bathroom."

I recall meeting her for the first time in that gay bar, when I opened the door to what I thought was the restroom and found that girl sucking her out. That image always gives me chills, but then at the same time, I'm glad I saw it. Because it was our first meeting, and every second with Byul is special to me.

"And in that library, where I saw you for the second time and you thought I was following you, where we had our first date, first kiss, and also when I found out you were married, it was a bittersweet memory, but I mainly focused on the fact that I tasted your lips."