Keep Me Closer

34th: Love Shouldn't

THE ENTIRE night passed by and I found myself starting another day without a text or a call from Eustace the other night. Waking up felt hollow and I was partly wondering why he didn't when he told me sincerely yesterday that he will.

I prepared for my shift and put on A-line hipster jeans and a halter blouse on top with strings encircled around my stomach. It was warm outside and these clothes were perfect for the get-go.

The grill didn't have many costumers for the day. Nililibang ko ang sarili sa pakikipag-usap sa iba pang staff dahil hindi ko mapigilang magtanong nang hindi ko yata napansin si Danica kaninang umaga. 

It was supposed to be her shift. Sabi ng iba ay on-leave na daw ito simula kahapon. 

Hindi na talaga tulad ng dati ang mga bagay. Adulting responsibilities have affected our communication. But I know that the friendship is still there...

Halfway towards my shift when I thought of Rhyl... but never about us. Rather about our friend, I have to ask him... he might know some things about what happened to Danica. Dahil sa kanya siya huling nanghingi ng tulong. Because I too, couldn't offer any help other than my presence. It wasn't what was needed.

Matapos maibigay ang ikalimang order sa nakalipas na isang oras ay nagpaalam muna akong para pumunta sa bathroom. I fished my phone from the back of my jeans and dialed a number—it wasn't saved on my contacts anymore. Tanging ang message na lang ni Rhyl ang naiwan sa cellphone ko, his number's still unregistered.

"Hello?"

"I never thought you'd call me in any circumstance, Creslienna."

"Rhyl, we have already talked about us. It was clear. We're cool, but will never be like before."

"I'm aware of that. That's why I am wondering why you're calling..." banayad ang boses ni Rhyl sa kabilang linya, nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

"I was gonna ask about Danica if you ever know something... everyone said here in the grill that she took a leave."

"She needed to go back home."

"To the Philippines? Why? Did something happen?"

"I don't know. Perhaps she didn't think it was necessary to share."

"Why would Danica think that way?"

"She said you don't have to share with the struggles she's going through because you already had suffered enough. But she had always been glad to you."

"She's my friend, I wouldn't mind."

"She said you came back stronger when you went back to the Philippines even when you had gone through things alone. She wanted to do the same."

"Why didn't she say these to me..." halos mabasag ang boses ko nang nagsalita. "But she told you."

"I don't know. I reckon to add up to my misery?" pabiro siyang tumawa. "It was because she wanted me to know that it's okay to feel the pain and expect no one else to ease it for you. Like what I had been doing. That strength comes after enduring as we keep going."

"She understood your situation after all."

"That's what I'd like to think."

Huminga ako nang malalim. Pinakinggan ang tahimik na paligid pati na ang paghinga ni Rhyl sa kabilang linya. It was calm... and there was sublte noise of clammering of woods and sharp objects.

I smiled to myself. He's sculpting once again.

"Thanks for answering my call."

"Anytime," he said.