Chapter Forty-One - Happiness is a Choice.

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It is her birthday today.

Three years later and I still can't celebrate the damn thing. I take a shot of some Old Van Winkle. The first drink she and I ever shared together, savouring every bit of cooling burning to my throat. Hmmm.

Holding the empty glass up, I felt…everything...and nothing all at the same time.

"How am I going to survive this, rabbit? Did you think of that?"

"You're going to have to, my heart." She whispered, sounding weak. No…no…I'm losing it. "Please...try."

The memory made me wince. Remembering that day burned like someone was branding me constantly. She said to try…and try I have. But I'm failing, miserably. 

"Cheers to you, my little Rabbit."I groaned, " you gave your life for mine, and here I am wishing I was with you wherever you are. Here I am wasting it, but never wasting away."

I filled the glass till it spills over onto the bar counter. Never fucking wasting away…immortality never felt this heavy as burdensome as it does now. Dying seemed easier and happier these days. Human’s never seemed so lucky to me to have that gift. 

"I–I hope you can hear me— it's been, hard, incredibly hard." I took the shot. " I miss you everyday but especially this day."

"King Letifer should we tell the guests that you will be down soon?"

Nyon stood at my door, my back turned to him as I looked at a photograph she and I had taken together in the garden outside. She'd be ashamed of me. I sighed and shook my head. 

"Yes," is all I could manage to say.

Nyon does not say another word. They all knew the drill by now. On her birthday, and the death anniversary…I do not want to be disturbed. I needed a moment to myself before having to perform happiness for anyone. 

"Also, she is asking for you, and by asking I mean demanding that you make your way down."

I scoffed. Is she now?

"Well, I guess we can't keep her waiting then." 

"I wouldn't advise it," Nyon scoffed and closed the door.

Taking my fur coat from the back of the chair, I threw it on. The theme was black today, for me at least. I pinned a small white flower on my black, silk shirt.  I looked at myself in the mirror and the white flower stood out against the black…Almost like it wasn’t meant to be there. A little bit of light in the dark.

You'd love what I've done, Rabbit. I've managed to get peace reinstated. Selene…she's got what she deserved. Her reign didn’t even last a day before she burst into ash. The crazy fucker was defeated…because of you. You always had a secret from the day we met. I should have known even on your last day you'd have something up your sleeves. 

"If you hadn't told Helen to do what she did without my knowledge we'd all probably be dead." 

We'd definitely be dead.

I walked down the party with a head filled with…too much.

I greeted those who came through. Heads of houses, professors from Winone, a few kids from the neighbouring communities…and ofc ourselves no Ordinarius'.

The event was an all-white affair. So, of course, I stood out.  The brightness of the space with all the lights…it was the perfect representation of the birthday girl.

"Daddy, you took sooo long," she whined. I don't look around. She starts to tug at the bottom of my coat. I folded my lips to keep from laughing.

 I folded my lips to keep from laughing

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