Fading Through Memories

25| +18

Bucky's pov

The sound of soft whimpering and my bed springs screeching under the movement wake me up. I sit up in bed, rubbing my eyes with my flesh hand. Fighting their urge to close before I hear her breathing quicken.

Fucking nightmares.

"Love..." I whisper, moving closer to her to free her face from the damp, wild strands.

Her breathing stops and my pulse spikes. Her little body starts to tremble under my covers, her legs moving slowly like she's running. Her hands grip the pillow in an iron grip, pulling the pillowcase against her red and wrinkled in terror face.

My stomach sinks and my heart stops beating for a few seconds before I come to my senses and move over to help her.

"Come on, wake up." I whisper softly again.

I know from experience that shaking her awake is the worst thing someone can do to save you from a night of terror. The way sweat soaks her back and her heaving chest makes my throat close because I know this is my fault.

I shake my head and reach out to gently touch her but just as I'm about to, she rolls onto her back. Her brows furrowed fully as tears fall from the corners of her closed eyes. A painful scream rips through her delicate throat, causing me to cover my ears with my hands.

"Fuck." My breath quickens as her limbs start punching and kicking the air. First soft and then desperate. Like she's escaping or fighting someone. Screams piercing the air.

"Y/n, love, wake up." I reach for her, gracing my knuckles over her soft cheeks. "Come on."

Y/n screams again, making my chest tighten with guilt and pain at seeing her like this. Her hands fly to her hair, pulling the strands with a force to rip them out as her chest rises and falls desperately.

"Wake up, sweetheart." Sobs and gasps fill the silence of the room along with my desperate screams trying to wake her up. "Open those beautiful eyes for me, yes?"

My hands fly to hers, preventing her from continuing to pull on her hair and hurt herself. One of her kicks almost connects with my stomach but I am able to dodge it as I get closer to her. Her screams and cries creating a hole in my stomach and a new crack in my heart.

"Bucky!" She jumps awake and I'm half way to sing victory when I notice she's choking.

She can't breathe.

"Look at me, doll." I demand, trying to reach her when her widened eyes dart everywhere. Like she's trying to figure out where she is as she wakes up from the nightmare.

The look in her eyes makes my throat go dry. The disorientation in her expression turns to desperation as she tries to take a deep breath but it gets caught in her throat, making her cough.

"Please look at me." I crawl towards her, trapping her trembling body with my knees before I reach for her again. "Breathe, love."

"Don't touch me!" She cries, slapping my hands away. Tossing and turning as she fights for air to reach her lungs.

"It's me, doll." I tell her, trying to get her to stay still. "You're safe. You're with me."

Her legs stop fighting at my words but her body doesn't stop shaking uncontrollably.
Tears wetting and staining her red cheeks. Her chin trembles as she tries to breathe again, failing and causing a knot in the pit of my stomach.

My heart breaks into a thousand pieces at seeing her like this. The woman I love crumbling little by little in front of me while I can't do anything to help her because it's my fault that she's like this in the beginning.