Everything I Wanted [BWWM]

Eight ~ Julia

A/N: Chapter nine will be up no later then Wednesday night. I can't say it'll be up by Tuesday because I have to go out of town for my fertility clinic, but I will try my best. Thanks 

Alex's fingers dung into his palms as his hands formed into fists as his eyes stared ahead. "She had no regard for our daughter. She just left her sitting on the porch while she ran away. If I hadn't come to the door that night, anything could have happened to Aimee. A stray animal could have gotten to her or worse."

That's when Alex's jaw tighten and I exhaled softly. I could almost see the anger Alex was trying to tame within himself. I slowly placed my hand on his arm which caused him to snap his attention over to me. Despite the angry composure he held, I could see the hurt that hid within his eyes. My heart pounded in my chest and, for a moment, I sat there speechless. "Is it possible she was just trying to think of Aimee in some weird way?" He leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms. I didn't know why I dared continued, but I did. "Maybe she was just wanted to do one good thing for Aimee by leaving her with you."

He continued to stare at me which felt like forever before he finally broke the silence. "Are you seriously defending her?"

I could feel my heart beating harder against my chest as my mouth went dry. "What? I-I didn't mean- No. " I rushed to try to explain what I meant a little bit more. "I do agree things could have been handled better. I'm just saying maybe she didn't think it through when she left her on your doorstep. Maybe she just was thinking of getting her in a home where she would be loved and cared for. How she did it may have been the wrong way, but maybe she had the best intentions."

The way Alex worked his jaw told me it was possible he was getting annoyed with my answers. "Best intentions? She abandoned our daughter on my porch early in the morning and basically ding dong ditched. Best intentions my ass. She was so worried about what she wanted for herself, she couldn't stop and think about her own daughter's safety long enough to stay to make sure she was safe before she left."

I slightly grimaced. The statement had stung because it only brought up a past he didn't know anything about. I knew he hadn't meant to try and hurt me. Especially since he had no clue about my own past, but maybe I had deserved it for digging up his own painful past. Either way, I knew it would probably be best if I left. It was obvious he needed time to cool down because bringing up that memory of Aimee's mom had struck the wrong cord. "Maybe I should go," I said quietly as I quickly grabbed the keys to Kayla's car off the coffee table and jumped off the couch to retreat.

"Julia. Wait," I heard Alex call out.

Yet, I still didn't stop and only glance slightly in his direction without even making eye contact. I just kept walking for fear he would continue taking his hurt out on me. "It's okay, Alex," I told him before turning my attention back ahead. That is until he caught my wrist in his hand. I spun around and met his gaze. As he stepped closer, my back hit the wall once I took a few steps back trying to keep my distance from him. However, it was futile because he only stepped closer leaving only a few inches between us. He was so close, I could smell the cologne that he wore. I could of sworn that I felt butterflies in my stomach as my gaze fell and my cheeks burned. I didn't know what had come over me, but I figured it was just nerves since he was standing so close in a way he had never before. That's when Alex placed his hand on the wall near me .

"Julia, please look at me," he said in almost a whisper. I continued to look at the floor. So, he used his other hand under my chin to gently tilt my face up until our eyes locked. His face was only a few inches away before he spoke once more. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just a hard memory for me and it's something that I'm not looking forward to telling Aimee when she's old enough to poke around for answers herself."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice as he spoke. He had been through a lot and I understood more than he knew. "I get it. As long as you're there for her, she'll get through it." I gave him a reassuring smile.

Alex's eyebrow arched as he continued to look at me. "You think so?"

"Yeah."

"What makes you so sure?"

I took a deep breath. "Let's just say I know from experience." This caused Alex to look even more confused. From his face, it looked as if he was silently questioning my statement. "It's a story for another time," was all I would tell him before side stepping him. "I better get going. It's getting late and it isn't fair to make Ryan stay all night with Kayla."

A smile crossed Alex's face. "Alright, I'll see you later. Be careful."

I tried to take my mind off what just happened on the way home. I could still smell Alex's cologne. I hoped it was in my imagination and it hadn't actually somehow rubbed off on my clothes. This wasn't something I wanted to explain to Ryan. Especially since nothing had happened between us.

When I walked in the house, Ryan shot up straight on the couch and I smirked. "Were you sleeping on the couch?"

"No. I just got a slight of a headache. Kayla got into some of the wine you had left and went to bed buzzed. She was pretty upset when we got back. She couldn't understand what she did wrong or why a guy wouldn't love her."

I groaned as I made my way into the kitchen in hopes there wasn't a big mess to clean up. "I'm sorry about that. I should have come back sooner."

"It's no big deal. I didn't mind being a shoulder to cry on. She seems like a sweet girl. I wonder why they broke up."

I sucked in my breath. I had been in denial on why they broke up because I had helped her with this relationship and they seemed happy. Or, at least, on the outside. However, I was starting to see why they didn't work out. "Um." I was speechless until I saw two wine glasses that were tossed in the sink. Kayla was a drunk, but not ever so drunk that she would used two different glasses unless she broke the first. I peered over at Ryan. "Did you have a glass with Kayla too?"

It almost looked like the color drained from his face. "I'm sorry. Kayla insisted that I drink with her. I only had one small glass so she didn't think she was alone. You don't mind do you?"

I took a deep breath deciding against telling him I would rather not egg on the bad habit she had. "Maybe you should stay over and sleep on the couch."

The pain in Ryan's face was obvious. "I don't think so. I'd rather go home and sleep in my own bed." I started feeling bad. Was Kayla really that bad tonight? "But, I would love if we could have a do over," he told me.

This, of course, washed my suspension and worry away as I smiled at the offer. "Really?"

"Of course. What? You thought I was going to let this small thing ruin a chance at a relationship with you?"

I was sure I was smiling like a school girl who had just gotten asked to prom. I was relieved that he still wanted to date me. I wondered how I could have ever chose my ex over him. Simple, I was a stupid teen who just wanted to do the opposite of what her parents wanted her to do. When in reality, my prince charming had been right in front of me this whole time. I shook my head. "Of course not."