“Bondita mai batata hoon, sab batata hoon par sab mujhe galat samajh rahe hai, tum mat samajhna Bondita.
Mera tumhare prati koi dwesh nhi tha mere man me Bondita. Samajh rahi ho na Bondita tum puri baat dhyan se sunna meri aur samajhn Bondita please (Bondita nodded and Ani got assurance)
He started, “Wo sab kuch hone ke baad mai apni study me tha aur inhi kashamkashon me uljha tha tabhi mere do antarswarup mere samne aaye ek Barrister Anirudh Roy Chowdhury aur ek Tennis khiladi Anirudh Roy Chowdhury.
Un dono ke kehne par hi mujhe ehsaas hua Maine Manorama ke dastaano ko ab tak samhaal ke rakha tha apne paas,mujhe galati ka ehsaas hua aur turant maine Un dastaano ko fenk diya apni zeb se nikal ke.
Un logo ne baaton hi baaton me mujhe itna uljha diya ki mere muh se ye nikla ki (he paused for some seconds) ki ek taraf jahan Bondita mujhse pati patni ke rishte ki ummid lagaye baithi hai mai pyaar kar baitha hoon Aazadi Express se' (again a pindrop silence spread, Anirudh gathered his strength and then continued)
Mere Barrister Antar Swarup ne mujhe taane maarna v suru kiya, usne…..usne kaha ki ‘Tum hi kehte ho na ki pyaar aur zimmedari me samajhdar insaan zimmedari ko chunta hai. Tum kise chunoge pyaar ko ya zimmedari ko?
Uske baad Bondita us raat mujhe Manorama ka sandesha mila, usne mujhe milne ke liye bulaya tha kisi jagah. Mai gaya tha usse milne ye soch kar ki aakhir usne mujhe kyun bulaya is waqt.
Us raat Manorama ne mere saamne……mere saamne…..vivaah ka prastaav rakha…….apni muhim ke liye…. Ek karaar ke taur par……
Use lagta tha ki mai hi wo aisa insaan hoon jo aisi shadi ka matlab samajh sakta hoon jahan shadi sirf pratibaddhta ho kisi aur wajah ko pura karne ke liye. Use lagta tha ki mai hi wo insaan hoon jo pati-patni ka wo rishta nibha sakta hoon jaha ek dusre se koi apeksha ho, jahan do log naam se to jude par tan aur man se nhi Kyunki uska kehna tha ki wo apna tan, man aur sab kuch wo apni desh ki aazadi ko samarpit kar chuki hai.
Us waqt mai thodi der ke liye dar gaya tha Bondita. Us waqt mujhe ehsaas hua tha, mere man me ye sawaal aaya tha ki Aazadi Express ne to apna haath desh ke liye aage badhaya par mera badhaya kadam kahi Aazadi Express ke kareeb jane ka bahana to nahi” saying this Anirudh covered his face with both hands in frustration and embarassment and he continued with his face still covered with his hand,
“Mere dil aur dimaag me jung chal rahi thi Bondita aur mere dimaag me mere Barrister antarswarup ki baat gunj rahi thi ki ‘Kise chunoge tum prem ko ya zimmedari ko'. Maine apne kadam wapas khinch liye Bondita, maine khud ko samhaal liya aur keh diya Manorama se ki maine Bondita ki zimmedari se shadi kar li.”
He uncovered his face and looked at Bondita, “Tum samajh rahi ho na Bondita, maine khinch liye apne kadam wapas Bondita. Maine samhaal liya khud ko.”
He held Bondita by her arms at both sides and Bondita opened her eyes. Her eyes all red with tears of pain, betrayal, hurt locked with a pair of eyes filled with tears maybe of guilt or maybe of sorrow of not getting what he wants. The time stopped, both the pairs were busy staring each other, staring deep to find at least once the things which they longed for- one for love or atleast affinity from the person whom she declared her whole world and other for the same admiration and trust which he knows is impossible to get back.
Anirudh was shouting and worrying Bondita by her arms, it was more like he was trying to convince himself more than Bondita and wanted her confirmation in a yes to provide some peace to his heart.
Obviously that’s what Bondita is in his life, the only machine who has no feelings of her own, who is supposed to bear everything and forgive him at once and praise him everytime after his short apology for all unforgivable sins, tell him that he’s always correct whenever he asks and do whatever he wants her to do.
Yes ofcourse he cared for her when he was free when he had no personal life, who won't care for and admire a child and especially prodigy like Bondita when he/she is free of personal issues or precisely having a peaceful love life and he helped, cared Bondita like that way only. During bedwetting he cleansed her beds like her mother used to do but by his own will Or because of his father's challenge? Yes he wanted to help out Bondita genuinely by curing his disease but he would do it for anyone as a kind hearted person he was, for Batuk, Bholi, Badal anyone, right? Bondita said that day only no one can be a mother and in Bon's case unfortunately even her mother couldn't be a mother instead she was just like the cuckoo who just give its egg to others to take care and get rid of it.
Bondita tightly closed her eyes and clutched her saree more tightly and nodded. Each and every confession is making it more difficult for her to cope up with. She was bearing the unbearable pain.
YOU ARE READING
Zindagi Bhar Ki Maut
同人小說It's about the current scenario where Anirudh married Manorama to give a mental torture to Bondita and her dearest spineless but also helpless Maa and her heartiest Patibabu betrayed her, made her all alone, all shattered, broke her heart into piece...
