Zindagi Bhar Ki Maut

Aasman Hai par Zameen Nahi

“Bondita jo kuch v hua usme maa ki koi galati nhi, unhone jo kiya mere kehne pe kiya.

Mai nhi chahta tha ki tum Maa ke paas jao kyunki mai tumhe hostel bhejna chahta tha un sab chizon se dur rehkar apne jaisi ladkiyon ke sath padhne ke liye, khule aasmaan me udne ke liye, tumhara sapna pura karne ke liye, in samaaj ke bandhano me bandh kar apni pehchan aur apni masumiyat na khone ke liye.

Isliye maine Sumati maa ko wo dusri shadi wala plan banaya aur samajhaya to wo maan gyi.

Bondita wo isliye v maani kyunki maine unse kaha tha ki mai tumhari jagah kisi aur ko nhi dunga aur unhe us baare me pata v nhi matlab mai kisse shadi kar raha hun…..mera matlab wo diary me jo tumne padh….(he was unable to find a proper word for his pehli nazar me zindagi bhar ka pyaar).” Anirudh said.

Bondita looked at him and sarcastically smiled and calmly said, “Maa ko aapke pehli nazar ke zindagi bhar ke pyaar ke baare me pata nhi tha, yahi na?!

Prem Prem Sab Kahe, Prem Na Bujhe Koi,
Aathon Pahar Bhiga Rahe, Prem Kahave Soyi

Aap hi ne iska matlab bataya tha na ki kisi ke sath zivan bhar reh ke prem nhi hota aur kisi se pehli nazar me v zindagi bhar ka pyaar ho jata hai aur ye kehte waqt aapke gaalon ki laali jo Manorama Ji ke liye thi, jiski wajah se mujhe galatfahmi huyi thi.

Maaf kijiye Barrister Babu un sab taklifon ke liye jo maine aapko di hai, us waqt naadan thi kuch samajh nhi aata tha par ab aata hai. Maafi chahti hoon aapko har tarah ki pareshani dene ke liye.

Dekhiye na aap jaisa chahte the wahi hua, aap mujhe akele dur bhejna chahte the- aap kamyaab huye, kar diya aapne mujh akela aur bhej diya dur. Aap mujhe aatmanirbhar bnana chahte the, ban gyi mai atmanirbhar. Aap mera sapna pura karna chahte the, ho gya mera sapna pura. Aap mujhe ek misaal banana chahte the, mai ban gayi ek mishaal sabke liye. Aap mujhe udaan dena chaht the khule aasman, bhar rahi hoon udaan mai khule aasman me bas mere paas nhi hai to meri zameen thaharne ke liye, jaha mai ruk ke do pal sukoon se bita sakun.

Maa ko aapne bataya aur maa ne sun li, aapki baat v maan li aur to aur aapko dusri shadi ki izazat de di wah bahut sahi kiya jab wo mujhe samjha sakti thi aur ye baat maa v jaanti hai mai maa ki har baat maanti hoon aur aapki v par kisi ne v mujhe samjhane ki koshish nhi ki mai kyun galat hoon, 12 saal ki ladki ko kya pata tha ki jo ho raha tha wo kya tha aur kyun tha! Par sabne apne apne tarike se mere nanhe se dil ko kuchal daala.

Aapko to samajh nhi aaya par kya Maa ko v andaza nhi tha ek aurat aur meri maa hone ke nate kya guzregi mujh pe is faisle se? Maa ko meri bhawnayein pata nhi thi? Maa ko pata nhi tha aap mere liye kya maayne rakhte hai? Maa ne kuch karne ya sochne ki jarurat hi nhi samjhi.

Aur Maa v raazi ho gyi dusre vivaah ke liye ye jaanke ki meri jagah aap kisi ko nhi denge (laughed sarcastically) meri jagah wo v aapki zindagi me. Kya hai meri jagah aapki zindagi me? (Tears brimmed in her eyes) Ye na aap jante hai na mai, mai aapke liye sirf ek zimmedari hoon ya sirf ek fitoor?!

Maa ne v aapka sath deke na sirf dusri shadi ki manzuri di, sabke samne mere sath waisa bartaav kiya, mujhe aur v nicha dikhaya, wo v mera sansaar thi na usne v mera sansaar chin liya. Meri maa ne mujhse Maa se lipat ke rona ka mauka v chin liya jab mujhe sabse jyada jarurat thi.

Mujhe is baat ka dukh nhi ki maa mujhe apne sath nhi le gyi kyunki jo kuch v hua maa aur mere sath jab mai chodi huyi aurat bani, uske baad main samajh sakti thi par aaplogo ne kya kiya har roz, har pal, meri bhaavnao ko kuchalte gye, mere bharose ko raundte gye,mere toote huye dil ko chaknachur karte rahe.” Saying this she collapsed.

Anirudh who was listening to all this in numb state unable to process to say or do anything, kept his hand on her shoulder after hesitating for some time. She hugged him tightly and started crying bitterly hiding in his chest where she was finding some solace. She found this solace after so many years.

Anirudh was hesitated to console her as right now she was vulnerable that’s why she’s not realising but when she would be normal she might think wrong but still he couldn’t help but console her and embraced her and with one hand started caressing her hair.