Zindagi Bhar Ki Maut

Thoda Farq Hai Hamare Dard Me

“Aapko pata hai Didi, ab mujhe aapse shikayat v nhi, mai aapka dard samajh sakti hoon kyunki mai v usi dard se guzri hoon.

Par thoda farq hai ham dono ke dard me, aapke sath jab ye hua aapke maang me unke naam ka sindoor nhi tha par meri maang me tha maine apna sindoor bantte huye dekha. Kisi aur ki maang me apne pati ke naam ka sindoor dekha.

Aapko unki shadi apni aankhon ke samne nhi dekhni padi par meri aankhon ke samne fere ho rahe the wo to mai fero ke waqt hi behosh ho gyi warna meri aankhon ke samne sab dekhna padta par aapko aisa dardnaak manzar aapko apne samne nhi dekhna pada.

Aapne sidhe apna gussa dikhaya, shikayat ki Barrister Babu se par mai  minnatein karti rahi girgirgirati rahi par ……….

Aapko shadi ki koi v rasham nhi dekhni padi, mujhe shadi ke baad apne pati ki unki choti patni ke sath sari rashmein karni padi yahan tak ki unke suhaag…suhaagraat ki sej v ……..” she managed to say in between her sobs and immediately hugged Saudamini tightly.

Anirudh instinctively started taking steps back while tears rolling down his cheeks seeing her pain which he inflicted on her intentionally in name of Ujjawal Bhavishya.

Taking a few steps backwards he ran towards study, closed the door and threw a vase in anger which hurt him and his hand started bleeding. He made fist and collapsed on the ground crying hard shouting to himself, “Main hoon uska gunehagaar, kitna dard diya use maine, khoon ke aansoon rulaye hai. Mujhe v milna chahiye utna hi dard.” Saying this he stood up & started throwing more things & hurt his hands.

“Kam se kam aap to meri shadi ke baad v unki dost thi aapko apna samay dete the aapka khyal rakhte the par mai unki kuch v nhi rahi, mere aansoon,meri taklif, mera apmaan kisi chiz ke mayne nhi rahe unke liye. Har roz mujhse mere adhikaar chine jaate, meri khushiyan chini jaati,mujhe meri sahi jagah batayi jati ki mai koi v nhi unki,koi v nhi sirf ek zimmedari ya fitoor hoon. Wo Manorama ji ke sath bahut khush rehte the par sayad fir mere liye unhe afsos hua aur usi afsos ke sath ji rahe.

Manorama Ji ne ek chitthi bheji thi mujhe aur Barrister Babu ne v jinme kaha tha unki shadi sirf ek samjhauta thi mujhe sahi raah par lane ke liye Barrister Babu ne aisa kiya.

Aur aapko pata hai meri galati kya thi apne hi pati se pyaar kar baithna aur meri kishoravastha me behekna, mai samajh sakti thi Barrister Babu ki haalat par kya dusri shadi sahi thi aur kya yehi karan tha dusri shadi ka? Nh sirf yahi karan nhi tha, wo khush the Manorama Ji ke sath par mai unhe wo khushi v nhi de payi maine v choti choti koshishen ki apni naadani me dono ko pareshan karne ki, khud unka pyaar paane ki par jo mera hai hi nhi aur jo chij mujh abhagi ke kismat me hi nhi wo mujhe kaise mil sakta hai.” Bondita kept crying hugging her and Saudamini consoled her. She rested her head on her lap for a long time and Saudamini was patting her head.

Anirudh came to check on Bondita, he peeped inside the room and found them like this and he felt somwhere happy and satisfied that atleast Bondita found someone to soothe her pain but he still doubted Saudamini is she really changed or one more time trying to play with Bondita’s emotions.

Bondita composed herself and said, “Maaf kijiye wo main kabu nhi rakh paayi khud par, bas kehne ka matlab yahi tha agar aisa koi irada leke aap aayi hai to bhul jaiye ise.

Mai pehle se hi mar chuki hoon aur kya maarengi aap, bas is shareer ko zinda rehne dijiye taki apne jeete ji aur ladkiyon ki zindagiyan bacha sakun aur sawaar sakun.

Aur aapko lagta hai maine apse kuch china hai to wo v sach nhi apse jo kuch chin gya wo kabhi mera tha hi nhi jiska tha use mil gya to haath jodti hoon aapke waisa kuch nhi kariye.

Aur jaha tak baat Roy Chaudhury Pariwaar ki hai yaad rakhiye hamesha ye Bondita dhaal bnke rahegi aapke ya kisi v musibat se apne pariwaar ki raksha ke liye.

Mujhe v bharosa nhi hai aap par, ab kisi pe bharosa nhi karti Bondita faisla aap ke hath me hai. Aap chahe to apni aur bahut se logo ki zindagi sawaar sakti hai wapas aap ke paas wo kaabiliyat hai jo dusro ke kaam aa sakti hai, use istemaal kariye aur behtar bnaiye apna aur dusro ka jeevan, wapas apna sthaan aur samman bnaiye.

Dard to ham dono ko ek sa hi mila hai nah par ham dono ne raaste alag chune aur parinaam aapke saamne hai. Aapko ek baar fir galat raastra chun ke zindagi badtar banani hai ya sahi raaasta chun ke  behtar?”

She took the first aid box and went from there, Saudamini was dumbstruck seeing this confident and bold yet shattered, soft hearted yet cold, caring yet fierce Bondita and also she was unable to fathom anything after listening what actually happened with Bondita.