Zindagi Bhar Ki Maut

Dooriyan aur Nazdeekiyan

Bondita lifelessly with tears in her eyes was taking small steps towards her room and Anirudh again collapsed on his knees watching her retreating figure. She went to the room cried out loud, she was slowly slowly  relieving the pain deep inside her heart. Saudamini couldn’t control herself more slowly sliding against the wall she finally collapsed into sobs covering her face with her hands. Ani in study sat on the floor crossing his knees and buried his head in his between his knees and was crying uncontrollably.

Bondita's pov

Whenever I feel healed and at peace, something happens which reminds me of those haunting memories, that unbearable pain, those sleepless nights of mine crying over my fate longing for a person to hold me tight and wipe my tears away.

It’s not like I don’t want to forget my past, I want to forget all those things and move on but that horrible past and those haunting memories doesn’t let me to move on, it still haunts me. All these things has made me so weak and vulnerable, no matter how strong and stonehearted I try to show myself in front of others but only I know that I possess a fragile heart inside the walls of pseudo stoneheart the world sees.

And this fragile heart is scared to come out of its stone shell, scared to be shattered again, scared to go through the same pain again.

I cannot let relationships and someone affect me again as only I know how I gathered myself that time when he left me all alone. But isn’t it a lie to say that I cannot let him affect me when the fact is that he had always affected me, I had always been affected by him. I could never got myself out of his memories, concern for him, become strength for him, tend to him and be there for him when he needs me. Yes I did and I am gonna do this for him forever, why won’t I? He was and will always be my everything, my priority before my life but I can’t let him do anything for me more out of his sympathy for me, already he  did many things just for sake of humanity and his kindness, I can’t take more from him.

Saudamini's pov

I am unable to control my tears today seeing the little girl's pain. She has been suffering since her childhood even before marrying Anirudh, first because of her evil Mami, then because of being an unwanted wife of Anirudh and unwanted daughter-in-law of Roy Chowdhurys then because of my evil deeds and revenge for nothing game and the list continues.

I was taking revenge for what, I didn’t suffer even a hundredth part of her sufferings, I didn’t experienced an ounce of her pain which she has been getting since childhood and the last pain she got which completely shattered her, completely changed her, changed her into a stone sculpture.

I suffered too but for my own sins but she has to suffer because of no fault of hers. I can’t believe she’s Bondita. I never knew I can see the little  chirpy, bubbly, happy Bondita like this one day. Anirudh apologized to me, took care of me, always cherished me as a friend but what he did to Bondita I even can’t believe how could he even do this to Bondita. I witnessed her restlessness for Bondita everytime especially in Hiramandi I saw his breakdown, I witnessed how his mind was always being occupied by Bondita 24*7, I witnessed how much he cares for Bondita more than his life but I also witnessed how he everytime overreacts when Bondita does some mistake, he has high expectations from Bondita, he always wants her to obey him and by her side and whenever she refuses he gets crazy and take irrational decisions without thinking twice.

He had always been fitoori and who knows his fitoor more than me, I know all his strong and weak points but this time he went overboard, he did things beyond repair,  crushed Bondita's little heart that much that she has stopped allowing feelings in fear and fitoor can’t be the only reason this time else Bondita wouldn’t have reacted like this, the girl who forgives the person who did worst for her and even attempted to murder her can’t forgive her own Patibabu? Maybe she already has forgiven him but only giving him this reminders to let the gap remain same as before, she is probably scared or there’s something else.