I Thought I Was Helping

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"So what happened yesterday, your reaction to everything. Was that because of her?" I swallow harshly looking down to my empty mug scratching at my eyebrows.

"Some of it, yeah." I say quietly and I hear Yelena shuffle in her seat and when my eyes quickly dart to look at her I see her gaze on me and a small sigh passes her lips.

"I made it worse didn't I?"

"Yeah, but it's not completely your fault. Christina made sure I understood that."

"Christina?" Yelena's raised brow makes me chuckle.

"My therapist."

"Oh right. So it's partly my fault but the thing that is my fault was also not my fault." I huff out a giggle standing from my stool to make another coffee, my back now turned to her I feel like I can say things easier.

"What you did caused a trigger response. I just couldn't fathom that you would hit someone you didn't even know, and it doesn't matter that she wasn't listening or being fake. You can't just go around hitting people."

I concentrate on making my coffee trying to get my thoughts in order for what I want to say because I need her to try and understand just a little so we can avoid this happening again. I get so lost in making sure I make my coffee I spook when Yelena appears next to me, at the sink and washing out her mug. I pass her the spoon once I've stirred my coffee and she puts it under the water and I have to hold in a laugh when the water goes all over her and the side.

"Suka, stupid spoon." She mumbles under her breath as I turn around to lean back against the counter taking a small sip of my drink enjoying the small scolding on my tongue from the heat.

"It wasn't that I was defending Steph from you, it's that what you did makes you no better than her."

"Excuse me?" I don't dare look at Yelena wanting to avoid whatever look she is sending me.

"You hit people as an answer when things don't go your way or people don't listen to you."

"I do not." She moves to stand in front of me, her mouth agape in surprise.

"Yes you do Yelena, because do you want to explain to me what happened yesterday? You just so happen to have bruised knuckles from what? Oh, yeah that's right, hitting someone." Yelena's mouth closes and I see her jaw lock at my words. "See that's where you two are one in the same. If you have the capability to hit someone you don't know over a small inconvenience how do I know you won't hit me at some point or hit Wanda, or your own sister. You have a tendency to think with your fists before thinking about the consequences."

"I would never hit you."

"That's what she used to tell me and then she used to apologise, like that makes everything better. Which is exactly what you did yesterday? So tell me how I am meant to know you won't hit me? How do I know that something won't snap in you and I won't leave with fresh bruises."

"I'm not Steph."

"No you're not but you sure do act the same sometimes." Yelena scoffs, weaving her hand through her hair, her jaw locking as I take a sip from my coffee trying to avoid saying something that I know I won't be able to take back.

"I would never hit you or anyone I love Y/n." Yelena leans against the Island facing away from me, her hands gripping the edge so tightly her knuckles turn white.

"But how do I know that Yelena?"

"Because you would never do anything to make me hit you." I scoff and Yelena turns around to face me and I put my drink up standing up straight and taking a step forward.

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