Winds of Fate [Books IV - VI]

Interlude: Mama

Anton bolts up from the chair, fearing he heard incorrectly, but Mama remains, unblinking, with her hands carefully folded on her lap. He heaves. Between his parents, it is Mama who supported him more, her having come from a family with interests on the sea. She knows why he wants that life; he has confided with her for so long.

But it appears his heart matters not.

Not anymore, at least.

"A-after..." Anton gasps, gesturing to the windows. "After I am onto something, finally? Mama! You know I can do it!"

"Antonio, calm down."

"Calm?! When you just announced that I shall never leave?" Anton nearly rakes his hair out, hurt even more when Mama turns away once he said that, and so he delivers another out of spite. "After you proudly told Facundo that I have been promoted!"

"Juan Antonio Sebastían!"

He stills.

"Behave yourself!" Mama gathers her skirts too, and stands up, flicking her fan open. "Or do you want to wake all the servants by moaning?"

Reminded of poor old Alcala needing sleep, Anton purses his lips together and drags his feet to the doorway. Stewing, he promptly shuts them close. "I can't believe you would decide..." he murmurs, pressing his forehead on the door. "Decide for me."

He turns around.

The Doña snaps her fan shut as well and sits back down. "You very well know, whenever your father and I are 'deciding for you', we are doing it with your best interests in mind." When he scoffs, Mama frowns. "Antonio, I would appreciate it if you do not so blatantly deflect me."

Anton shakes his head. "I have been deflected already," he mutters, striding to the fireplace instead. "Whatever I do, will never be enough for this family." At Mama's horrified face, he closes his eyes and hides behind his hand. "I don't understand why you can never be happy for me. Why must my sailing be dragged into this once more? Is it not enough that I am here now, working, on the ground too! Unlike those pompous fat lechers at court who cannot be bothered to leave their beds and women and gold!"

"Oh, do not be overdramatic, Tonio," Mama says with a dismissive wave of her hand, exasperated. "Indeed! I am proud of you, and proud of your willingness to work with your men. To save the hacienda, the palace, the city, the family, and me!"

"But we both know where this will end up!" Mama bitterly flings with her hand. "You will go! You are giving them false hopes! Promises, Antonio! What kind of a man will you be if you fail to keep your word!"

"Why must you insist I will break them?!" Anton swivels, heat creeping up his cheeks-heart breaking most of all, for once he could find it in himself to find his place in this city... and Mama doesn't even care. "You think I offered my time to Facundo, with an intention to break it? Is that how you think of me, Mama? Me!"

Mama presses her lips to a line. "Do not raise your voice at me, Tonio." She shakily breathes, snapping her fan open. "Remember who you are talking to."

I do. Anton wipes his tiny tears and settles by the library's ornate windows. Guarded by criss-crossing metal grates, with golden detailing at its sloping sills. He bites his lip and rests his arm overhead, against the stone. Never, truly. He never thought of the Palacio as a jail, as many youth of his time had. No. If anything, he loves his castle, his clothes, his horses... he loves his friends, the groomsmen, footmen, majordomo, and the cook... he has always loved his parents too.