HIP #1: The Ten Weekends

Chapter 48

"Don't talk to me about that!" Peter screamed back.

"Oh really? Because you can't accept that you're a failure? You can't accept that I always beat you in basketball? And that I always win against you? Accept it you punk!" When I looked up at his eyes, I saw how shiny they were, I felt his pain and felt so guilty as well. His tears were about to fall when he whispered, "you don't know what you're talking about," he looked at the ground and the teardrop dripped down his face, washing the anger, and the hate together with all the pain.

My greatest weakness, seeing my best friend cry when he keeps a secret from them about his situation. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't help but stand up and grab his hand. He kept his mouth shut with his eyes locked down on the ground and through the huge crowd watching us, I walked with his hand and ignored the eyes of the people. The strong wind outside blew my hair and the light coming from the moon bounced through my jeans.

I found a bench between two tall trees a few meters away from our house. I still feel the guilt in me. I sat on one of the seats on the bench and without saying a single word to me, Peter sat beside me. His eyes were still on the ground and tears keep dripping down, cleansing his face. Using my fingers, I held his head high to look at me.

His shiny and teary eyes made me feel guiltier. You shouldn't have started the game! Now he's crying. If there is a way to stop my subconscious from judging me, then I would do it. "Don't mind him," I whispered and sat closer to him. Without saying a word, he got back to staring at the ground and slowly leaned his head on my shoulder. "Look, I know him. He's my cousin and he also always makes me cry. Remember when I got up to your house and cried a lot to you when he kissed me? He's a bully. And for him, it's normal to make people cry. He's a bad guy and he's just being himself... though it's wrong and though he broke the boundary by..." I can't even mention it because I'm afraid that I might hurt him too.

"Well, the best thing you can do is to avoid him. He doesn't know you as I do, he knows nothing about your... your... your life and.... So, he said those things. But I'm sure if he knows you, he wouldn't say what he did..." I felt the heavy sigh he let out and the teardrop that fell on my thick jean jacket. wou

"I hope so..." finally, he said some words, making me feel a little more comfortable. I began smiling and rubbing his fragrant hair with my fingers. One thing I like doing to him ever since I was a kid. I closed my eyes and listened to the music made by the howling owls. The breeze is just right, and the silence is nice.

"I love you, Britty. More than you think..." I smiled more and opened my eyes. I bit my lips and looked at his hair as I continued rubbing it.

"I wish that you're sober," I whispered. If he's saying those words to me and he's sober, then I wouldn't hesitate to kiss him. Since I was in 4th grade with him, I already had a crush on him. Not to deny how cute and nice he was. But it vanished when I was in 8th grade. When he told me he likes Charlie. And I tried my best to stop liking him but I couldn't. Until just last year, I learned how to love him just as a best friend. Because I know it would be impossible for us to have something else more than friendship. I wish but I don't think it would happen.

"I am... I am sober, Britty. And I love you not just as a best friend but as someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want you to be my girlfriend. I'm probably drunk but I don't care. Because I know when it comes to you, I don't regret anything..." I barely heard him. His words were full of sighs and sobs. I know he is drunk. And it's obvious because though we're best friends, we don't talk about feelings, we never talked about our future relationships, and most of all, Peter never opens up about love. Hearing him say that he loves me makes me want to stay here forever and spend the rest of my days of existence here. If this is a dream, then I don't want to wake up. Because my wildest fantasy is being loved by Peter. But the sad part is that he's drunk and tomorrow, he might forget that he said he loves me. Deep down, I know it's wrong to tell him I love him back. Because we're like kids playing dollhouse. Everything is just pretending for he is not with himself.

"Tomorrow, you might regret what you just said," I whispered and he just laughed. Even his simple laughter can give me goosebumps. He didn't say a word back and just kept his head leaning on my shoulder. A teardrop suddenly fell from my eye. I know that I should not, I can't, but I love him now. Ever since then. No. I still love him and I'm still hiding it.

Peter deserves love like nobody else. Because of the pain that the world gave him. But I can't love him now... because he's drunk and I can only love him in my dreams when I'm asleep, and in my imagination where I'm the one who's in control. But I wish that I don't have to stop myself from loving him. I wish that it wouldn't be forbidden, I wish that it's free. But it isn't.

Who knows? Maybe it would be. Maybe it wouldn't, maybe someday, or maybe not?

Author's Note:

Good night, I'm sleepy already... nothing else to say

Love you all so much!!!

>33333 chain!

See you next time! Mwuah!