Revival

chapter 53: us

KIIARA
❉ ❉ ❉ ❉ ❉ ❉ ❉ ❉

He's finally here.

As he steps in, he takes in my apartment. His eyes move over the TV, couch, coffee table, countertop- anything he can put his eyes on. He soaks in my space as if he's been dying to see it.

His gaze then turns back to me. He gives me a one over.
A very slow one over.

He takes his time as he starts at my hair, realizing how it was a lob and now it was almost waist length. His eyes widen slightly as he looks into my eyes, my nose, lingers at my lips and then travels down my outfit and to the floor.

He brings his face back up to me. "My God, Kiiara you're as beautiful as ever."

The certainty in his voice makes me swallow the butterflies threatening to flutter out.

I give him a one over as well. His hair  and skin seem to look darker, richer. His lips are still full and I recall when I used to kiss them and love the feel of them. He wears a black hoodie with white print in the back, grey sweats and Nikes.

"You look great too."

He walks up to me, bringing his hand up to trace my face but then stops.

He closes his eyes tightly. "Can I touch you?"

He seemed as if he'd hurt if I dismiss him so I nod. His hands meet the curve of my cheeks and he runs his thumb back and forth, shaking his head as if he's in disbelief.

"I miss you so much." The present tense of "miss" makes me realize we still aren't in good terms. And I know it's because of me, but I also know I needed to stay away so I can recover.

I take his hand off my face. "Take a seat on the couch. Want tea, hot cocoa, anything?"

"No."

I nod, grabbing my mug and sitting on the far end of the couch he's on. I face him as he does me.

"Tell me why you left without talking to me",
he urges.

"I needed to leave. As much as I like you, I didn't come to Grey on my own terms. I did it for Jordan. We started off bad, Nile and I couldn't stay with you without stepping away and figuring all this out myself."

"And that's fine, you should have explained that to me."

"You think you would have let me go? You said you couldn't let me leave due to me knowing about the mafia. You told me you wouldn't let me go."

"I also told you I liked you and I'd try my best to make you happy."

"Forcing me there was never the right choice. No matter how close I was with you and everyone, this was not my choice. You need to understand that."

His jaw clenches. "Fine. Why avoid me for months? "

"I lost my parents, Nile. I delayed my future, everything and then I just appeared at Grey. The mission, our grandfathers, the mafia going to Jordan- it was too much. Leaving for one week wouldn't have been enough. I needed to be away from all of it."