Shot Throught the Heart

eight

Morgan and Rob both hung back with the unit while Dominic, Mom, Peyton and I got into the van and went home. I think they knew that we needed some time just the four of us before they would come back to the house. The drive home from the cemetery was painfully quiet. None of us knew what to say. The radio was on low as I just tightly held onto the flag. I felt like I couldn't put it down. It's one of the last things of dad we have now and I feel like it needs to be protected at all cost.

            When we got home mom thanked the driver and he gave mom the card of dad's attorney. Even though dad was now at peace, we still had some final things to take care of. But those can wait for now. I got inside and went right upstairs to my room. I closed the door behind me and slid down until the floor caught me. With shaky fingers I unbutton my jacket and loosened my tie before I let my emotion escape. I screamed my pain out into the folded-up flag as all of the tears and emotions of the last few days finally escaped.

            The sobs and screams were uncontrollable for a while. The pain was coming from such a deep recess of my chest that I didn't think it would ever stop. The only thing I could do was curl into a ball and rest my forehead against the folded-up flag and hope that maybe, just maybe, it would stop eventually. 

            I don't know how long I ended up tucked up like that because I think I fell asleep. The next thing I knew I felt the door open into my back and it pushed me out of the way to let whoever was behind it come into the room. It didn't take long before the person came around in front of me and lowered into my line of sight. My eyes cracked open enough to see Morgan sitting in front of me looking concerned. Even though she tried to hide it in her body language, the emotion bleed through her eyes. Morgan took the flag from my hands and and disappeared for a moment and I couldn't help but just close my eyes again.

            "No, Daniella, open your eyes for me." Morgan said and I felt her hands cupping my cheek, her thumb running across my cheekbone. I sighed and opened my eyes again and my eyes found hers.

            "There you are. How about we get you out of this suit and into bed, yea?" Morgan asked and I could only just blanky stare at her wondering why she was even here trying to help me.

            "You've been up here for most of the day. Everyone's been concerned, but they all wanted to give you some time alone, knowing it hit you the hardest. But there is a group of people downstairs who want to help you share this weight. It's not just on your shoulders Dani." Morgan said as she continued to stroke my cheekbone.

            I blinked a few times trying to clear my eyes but I could feel how dry they are, no doubt they're bloodshot right now. Morgan took that as a good sign and she undid my tie and pulled it from my neck then started undoing the buttons of my dress shirt next. She only did the top few and I knew why. She wanted me to get up and finish changing myself, but I don't know if I have anything left in me to pull myself up off this floor.

            "I can't" I said as a fresh wave a tears threaten to fall. My fingers felt like led and didn't want to move, along with the rest of my body.

            "Okay, how about we get you up then we will do it together?" Morgan asked sounding determined.

            I couldn't say anything to her but nod, accepting the help even though I knew I shouldn't take it. Morgan made quick work and got my dress shoes off and out of the way. The next thing I knew Morgan propped me up in her arms so she could hold me to her chest and got me out of the doorway. Sometimes I forget about Morgans' combat experience now that she is primarily in intelligence. The strength in her arms holding me against her chest is the only thing holding me together.