Bucket Hat

New Beginning

~One year later~

"El! Come on bitch, are you ready??" I fly down the stairs still trying to pin my cap on my head. "I can't get it to stay. Ugh! I don't know why I have to walk anyway. It's not like this is my first graduation." Kayla grabs the Bobby-pins from my hand and starts to fix my cap in place. "It's your first PhD though. And mom and dad would kill you if they didn't get to see you walk to receive that degree. Now come on...Jun is looking impatient out there and he never looks impatient." I laugh knowing exactly what she means about Jun. The man is the most patient person I've ever met. After locking my house up I take quick strides down the sidewalk to the black car and the man tapping his foot but smiling at me. "I'm sorry! I couldn't get my cap on." Jun smiles and opens the door for me to get in. I stop before climbing in to give him a small peck. As always, his cheeks turn from ivory to rose in an instant. Kayla of course takes the opportunity to embarrass the poor man. "Good lord Jun! You've only kissed a million times already and you always act like it was your first." I look at the handsome man in front of me, in his gray Louis Vuitton suit and his light brown locks styled perfectly, and blush as well. I kiss him softly again. "Come on, let's go." He smiles and nods and shuts the door before walking around to get into the drivers seat. "Belt Kayla." Jun speaks as best he can in his thickly accented English. She giggles but pulls it on. After he puts his seatbelt on he turns the key to fire the car to life. He looks at me and smiles as he grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. "Let go Ella." I try to stifle my laugh but fail. "Let's Jun...it's 'let's go.' But great try and you're getting so much better." He blushes but smiles and we drive off to my graduation.

There was a ton of people and I couldn't help but be nervous about Jun just waltzing in. Would people mob him? Pretend to not know him? Or maybe really not know him? He didn't seem worried and kept telling me to relax and it would be fine. After everything I've been through with Jungkook I couldn't help but always worry and be on edge. I never dreamt I'd date an idol ever again. After I entered the auditorium with the others in my graduating class I quickly scan the crowd until I find my people. I see my parents, Kayla and Jun. I lock eyes with him and he gives me a warm smile and I breathe a breath of relief that he has sat without incident. We sit through all the boring speeches and then finally, an hour and a half later, my field was called. All the people in my field stand and walk to the stage. Once my name is called I walk across and I hear my little cheering section bellowing and I beam at them, holding my degree up. Once we were all dispersed I quickly found my people and my parents quickly scooped me into a bear hug. "We're so proud of you honey. A PhD...just wow sis." I laugh and say, "Thanks mom. I'm glad it's over." Kayla pulls me into a big hug as well. While in the hug she whispers in my ear. "Some friends sent some graduation gifts for you. They're at my house. I'll bring them later." I stiffen but know who she means. BTS. I smile and nod and then turn to my boyfriend. "Congratulations Ella." He pulls me in with my hand and kisses me lightly, careful to not make it too long in front of my parents. He's always so thoughtful. "Thank you Junie. Now let's go eat!"

After dinner my parents offered to take Kayla home so me and Jun could have some time alone together. Jun is on the second week of his two week hiatus so he'll be heading back to Korea in three days. It's been a nice visit, especially not having to worry about him being seen because kpop just isn't big down here where I live. Once we get back to my house I open the door to let us both in. As soon as I shut the door and turn the lock I'm lightly shoved against the door and Jun takes my lips with his. He's normally very gentle and I haven't seen this side of him before, even if he does still seem to be on the gentle side. We've only slept together a few times, this hiatus is the first time we've been together since deciding to try to date. I'm surprised by his forwardness but love it at the same time. I moan into the kiss and bring my hands up and run them through his hair and tug a little. He pulls back and looks at me intensely. His dark eyes are different. They're filled with lust, something I've yet to see from him. I instantly felt a ping of guilt in my stomach......those lust filled eyes remind me of someone else. I shake the thought away and pull Jun in for another kiss. This time I tilt my head to deepen the kiss and roll my hips forward to push my core onto him. He moans into my mouth and gropes my body shamelessly. He pulls my dress up over my head and throws it away as he captures my lips again. I unbutton his shirt with haste, and once unbuttoned I glide my hands down his chest. He groans and pulls the shirt the rest of the way off and immediately starts to unbuckle his belt which he also tosses away. I bite his bottom lip and then trace my lips down to his neck, all while unbuttoning his slacks. I break away and drop to my knees and pull his slacks and boxers down together. His dick springs free and I grab it but his hand is over mine as soon as I do. "Ella. No." I look up at him confused. He's stopping me from sucking his dick? "What's wrong? Do you not want me to?" I start feeling self conscious when he just looks away and runs his free hand through his hair. "Ummm...how to say....umm....I have not got...umm...this....before." He points down to his hand holding my hand holding his hard dick. Then I put his broken English together. "Oh! You've never gotten a blow job before?" He tilts his head, clearly confused. This language barrier was kinda hard but right now? Why do we have to have this issue at this moment? I think again. "Um...no one has ever had their mouth on you before? Down there?" I point to the hands holding the dick again and he gets it. His cheeks blush and he bites his bottom lip as he nods. I smile. "I see. Well, it will feel really good. Will you let me try?" I see him hesitate and am about to stand, not wanting to do anything he's not comfortable with, but then he nods. "Ok" he says. I smile and then slowly take his hand off mine. I slowly start stroking his length and watch him as he begins to groan and rests his head on the door. I am amazed at how inexperienced Jun is. The life of an idol I guess. Slowly I lower my mouth to him and as soon as my mouth starts to slide down on him he moans...kinda loud. It startles me a bit but I try to not get distracted. He's been so good to me the past year and a half, always there for me while I grieved my lost love. I continue to slide my mouth down him until I bottom out and he lets a moan out again. I look up at him as I start slow, bobbing my head up and down. He never opens his eyes but I can't deny his moaning was starting to turn me on. The faster I went the more vocal Jun got. He must have felt braver because I felt his hands slide into my hair and tug. It made me think of someone.....guilt pooled....I blocked it away and kept my eyes on Jun. "Ahhh....mmmm" I feel him start to twitch in my mouth signaling he was close. I bob a few more times and then pull him out with a pop! He's panting as he looks down at me, eyes looking fucked out already. I stand and capture his lips again in a hard heated kiss. Jun brings his hands to my ass and squeezes before sliding his thumbs into the band of my panties and sliding them down. He takes my lips again as I feel his hand down between my legs. Rubbing his index between my folds I gasp and moan out. "So wet." He says in proper English surprisingly, and it turns me on more. I graze my nails down his arms and hold on tightly as I feel him slip a finger inside. I open my mouth and he kisses me roughly before any sound can come out. He pushes his tongue in my mouth and slides a second finger in my core at the same time. I groan at the feeling and start rolling my hips, begging him to fuck me, even with his fingers. "Jun....baby....mmmm....fuck me already." He breaks the kiss and stares at me. He smirks and pulls his fingers from inside me brings them to his mouth to taste me. "Mmmm. Tastes good." My mouth hangs open at how sexy that was. That was a first from him. He's getting bolder.

Jun starts walking me backwards, while looking me in the eyes with a smile, until I feel my legs hit the couch. He gently lays me down and climbs on top of me, covering my mouth with his again. I can feel his hard length against my core and I moan while my breath speeds up more. "Please Junie...take me." With that he pushes himself into me. I gasp as he slides in and I grab his ass to push him to the hilt. "Ahhh!" He slowly start to thrust in me as he holds himself up by putting his elbows on each side of my head. He leans down to kiss me hard while his thrusts become harder. "Ella!" He moans into my mouth. I rake my nails up his back causing him to moan more and he breaks the kiss to lock eyes with me. I see that fire and lust in his eyes again and he leans up to grab under my knees. He pulls my legs up to get deeper in me and the feeling triggers that guilt again as my mind snaps to my past lover. I close my eyes to wish it away. Jun Jun Jun. I want Jun. I grab his thighs and open my eyes to look at this gorgeous man above me as he looks at me with lust yet adoration as well. I feel the knot in my stomach tighten, knowing my climax will be coming. "Ahh...Jun....I'm...I'm so close." I moan out. "Me...too." He gasps. His thrusts start to get erratic so I start rolling my hips to reach my high. "Yes baby!" I yell out as my climax comes. Jun pushes hard and deep a few more times before he I feel him pulsing in me. He lets out a massive groan as he empties himself deep inside me. "Ooooohhhh! El-Ella!" He cries out. A few more hard thrusts and he stills inside me and collapses on top of me. We both pant and try to regulate our breathing. Jun raises his head from my neck and lightly kisses my shoulder. I smile as I run my fingers up and down his back. "That was amazing." He breathes. "Yeah" is all I say but to him it's enough. He leans up to kiss me and lays his head on my chest. I can't stop my mind from going somewhere dangerous. Him. I can't help it although I feel so guilty, but I can't make the thoughts go away, even after so long. "You make me happy Ella.....I love you." Jun mouths while laying on my chest.

I feel tears filling my eyes as guilt starts to consume me. He loves me. He said he loves me as I'm thinking of another man. I don't deserve him. Jun is a good man. He's always been so good to me, and loyal. He was the one person, outside of family, I could talk to honestly as I was going through my break-up and he never once got annoyed with me. The language barrier has been an issue, but not enough to pull him away from me. He has even been studying English to be able to talk better. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve just a part of someone while the other part is thinking of someone else. Still glued to someone else. He's too good for that. He's too good for me. But he chose me. He's an idol like Jungkook, yet he went against it all and chose me. The media and Carats haven't found out yet, but we know they will one day. Jun has already talked with his members and managers and said, if it comes down to them or me, he's choosing me. He actually told everyone that....he chooses me. How I wished for Jungkook to do that, but I've never begrudged him for choosing his members. I know from this act that Jun truly does love me. He's willing to give up all the fame for me. So I've made the decision to totally commit to him. Give him my all. Even though, in the back of my mind and heart, Jungkook will always be there. I roll Jun off to the side of me and turn to where we both are facing each other. I scan his face, examining every little freckle, and smile. I look him in the eyes and with everything I have in my heart, I tell him, for the first time...."I love you Jun."