Him

Chapter 96

How do you expect to see the day when you haven't even lived through the night? Life is full of tricks. Some that come from within. Others being the world. There is not a moment in my life that I have not thought of the future. Where do I stand? Where do we stand? Do we have a future together? Will we have a future together? I wonder what he's thinking. Is he thinking about me? Us? Our future? If only I had powers and was able to read minds. He got out of the car and motioned for me.

I stared at him. He held out his hand for me. I took it and he started to walk. I cuddled against his arm as we walked. "Its a beautiful day isn't it?" I asked. He looked around with narrowed eyes. He then nodded. "Yes. Yes it is." He said softly. I heard a song. I looked around for the source but it seemed like it was way too far. He looked at me. I looked at him. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Um..Do you hear that song?" I asked. He looked at me like I was crazy. "What song?" He asked and looked around. I shook my head. "Never mind that." I say. I then noticed we were in front of a cottage. I looked at it.

"What are we doing here?" I asked. He sat on the swing in front of it. I joined him. "This is where I come to clear my head. Get my thoughts together." He said. Huh? Is this where he disappeared to yesterday? "Is this where you came?" I asked. He nodded. "After you hurt someone?" I asked him. He looked at me. "Maybe..." He pouted. I chuckled. He flashed his killer smile making me smile. Its been a while since I seen that smile. "You smiled." I say cupping his face in amazement. He blushed and looked away. "No way." I say making him look at me. "Your cheeks are pink.Your blushing!?" I gushed. It faded quickly. Damn it.

"Why can't I see more of that side of you?" I asked. He looked at me as if I was stupid or something. "I need to talk to you." He said all serious like. I nodded. "Yes?"I asked. "Do you see me?" He asked. "Do I see you?" I asked confused. I looked at him weirdly. "What do you see when you look at me?" He asked. I looked at him. "The real you. I want to see the real you." I say. He looked at me sadly. "You still don't know the real me?" He asked. I shook my head. "I feel like I know you. But no one else does. Then there's a part of me that feels as though I don't know you at all." I say fully honest. "But your the only one who's seen all side of me." He said. Was I really? Am I?

I feel special but at the same time I don't. There are others that were once before me. There I go again. He's trying to change for me and I keep refering to his past. He took my hands of his face. "Your that girl." He said. Huh? "What girl?" I asked. "The one I try so hard to please. And you don't even have try to please me at all. All you do is smile and I'm right there in your hands." He said holding my hands. He's talking. He's talking! "But look at you. You know." I say. He was all serious now. "Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked. "No. I just need to get this off my chest. Why not do it where I'm the best me?" He said a bit gloomy. I do I felt like he's so far away. He didn't move but he did move away from me. He looked at the trees moving to the wind blowing. Just like his hair. I smiled and looked directly in his eyes causing me to grow nervous.

He held out his hand for me. I took it. "I can't live like this." He said and looked away. "What do you mean?" I asked him. "You deserve better. As long as I'm concerned, I'm not the best there is." He said. Is he? No. "Tell me. Have you ever had thoughts of ever leaving me?" He asked. So many times but my heart won't let me. I shook my head. He bit his lip. "Tell me the truth." He said. "Once. With the constant heartbreaks." I say looking down. He pulled my chin up. "I told you. Everyone told you but you didn't believe any of them. Why?" He asked. "When you love someone as much as I love you, you begin to over look all the bad and turn it into something good." I say. He smiled wrly and cupped my cheeks.

"There you go again." He said. He seemed as if he wanted to cry. Only one crying now is me. He rubbed the corners of my eyes trying not to smudge my makeup.Is he thinking of what I think he is? "No." I say moving my face away slightly. Is he really? "What about last night?" I asked him. He looked at me and brought me closer. "Last night was for me." He said. What? "I have to do it." He said holding me even tighter. "Do what?" I asked him. "I had to get it to you somehow. And last night I did. Laur...I can't make you happy and I want you to be happy." He said finally getting out what he wanted so it seemed. I pressed my hands against his chest to pull out of his embrace. "Your....Your..." I said softly. "I love you so much. I love you to the point where I can't control how I feel. That's why I'm aggressive. I want to show you and tell you but words don't ever seem like they get across to you so I show it through actions." He said.

I blinked twice to make sure I was seeing and hearing correctly. "I love you. And I will never stop loving you. But I love you so much that I have to let you go. If I keep you, there's nothing else for you." He said. I felt drops of rain on my skin. He's breaking up with me? "No. Don't cry."He said. "What about everything that we have been through?" I asked sniffing a little. "Every second was worth it. I can't do it." He said and turned away. I held his wrist. "Please. You've held on for so long. Why give up now?" I cried. It started to pour on us. "Because your worth it. But I'm doing what's best for you. For me." He said. That's when I realised that he too was crying.

"Please..." I begged. "This is the path that I have chosen".He said and turned around giving me a kiss. I kissed him back. He slowed it down and pulled away. He then hugged me tightly. "Don't." I say. He completely ignores me. I hold him tighter. He picked me and then placed me back on my feet. "You.. I'll always love you. And you will always have my heart. I need to like myself before I can make you happy. Go be happy. You will be and without me." He said and kissed me once again. He then pulled away. "Goodbye Laura." He whispered and quickly walked away. I cried. "Wait! Wait!"I called trying to chase after him. But he was long gone.Tears streaming down my face."That's it." I said. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and each of those pieces fit perfectly to show Him. Exactly who he is. My heart. It will always rely on Him.
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I love you guys! Every living breathing one of you! You guys are amazing! This is the end:( I will not have a sequal. I won't have time for one. And I would like you all to know that this book was a two man job! Thank you latenight_writer for helping me write this. You are amazing! She is amazing! Check out her stories! She's just the best! I wouldn't have done this without her. Your all fucking perfect! Just the most supportive readers ever! Tell me what you thought about the chapter and the entire book below! Thanks guys!!! Comment and Vote!!!!!!
~Ash♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥