Him

Chapter 95

I have to do what's best for me. All this time I thought he was the best. Everything I wanted was revolving around this guy. Him. I can't live like this. Its always that. I woke up next to him. I looked up at him and he was still asleep. I'll let him get his sleep. I have to get him out soon. Someone won't be very happy. I slowly slipped out from his tight grip. He groaned and turned over. I smiled slightly. I looked around my room for my clothes. I picked them up and got my robe from my dresser. I slipped into it. I cleaned up a bit in my room. I then searched my closet for something to wear. I took out a pair of skinny jeans and a tank. I had to wear a little carnigin to cover the little love bites created on my skin now. I put my outfit together then grabbed some under garments. I looked at him for a second. He looked so peaceful. I took my clothes and made my way to the bathroom.

I listened to the running water. It was nice and calming. It felt nice against my skin. It was burning but I didn't mind. It was like a massage. I poured shampoo into my hand and massaged it into my hair. Strawberry melon. Its a nice scent but not my favorite. Water fall of course is my favorite. I stood up the shower cap cleansing my body and hair entirely. I closed my eyes as they started to burn. I cleaned the soap off my eyes.Which only made it worse to rub it. I finished showering and shut off the water. I heard a murmur and then a door open and close. I reached for the towel and wrapped myself around it. I then wrapped my hair also. I stepped out of the tub and looked at myself in the mirror.

"Are you proud of who you've become? I thought you were better than this?" I'm not anyone different. I'm the same girl. The same person. "This is not who you are. Exactly who are you? Who are you?" I looked at myself closely. Who was I? Who am I now? Did I change? Am who I believe I am? Or am I just taking the same thing? "Your so much better than this. What have you set yourself to be?" I took a deep breath. Am I really? I am better. I seem like I've still got a long way to go. But this isn't right. I looked at the door as if sensing there was something there. I took another deep breath. I got some advil and gulped it down. I feel a headache coming. I started to finish my daily routine. That includes getting dressed and starting about my day. I took one last breath before starting.

We stared at one another. Neither of us saying anything. It was pretty awkward. He watched me. As if looking for something. Trying to see where my mind is at. Just like I was trying to do the same. His lips moved but no words came out. I looked at him completely driven to it. I seen him move. I watched his every move. He pulled out a package. Must be having a interpersonal conflict. I looked away. He popped a pill in mouth and then got up. I didn't say anything and hoped he said something. Bit it wasn't as if he was going to at any point now. "Try water." I say dryly. He looked over at me. "What was that?" He asked. "I said to try some water. It won't go down your throat that way." I say. He looked at me a bit shocked. No way. "Your trying to avoid them aren't you?" I asked. He didn't look at me and got a cup of water. I bit my tongue. "Thanks." He said. He then sat back on the couch. "Do you love me?" I blurted out. He looked at me as if I asked the most oddest question of them all. I got up and walked over to where he was. I then sat across from him on the other couch.

He looked pained. "I love you." He said. I smiled. "Do you really?" I asked. "Of course I do. I told you that last night. I showed you." He said. Couldn't argue with that. There are so many things I want to ask but I'm afraid to upset him. "You really are trying your best aren't you?" I asked. "Just for you." He said and looked away. I was flattered "I'm sorry for doubting you." I say. "I'm sorry for giving you a reason to doubt me." He said. I chuckled. Finally getting a conversation going here. He chuckled also. "You know you mean alot to me right?" I asked. He nodded. "Just as much as you mean to me." He said. I walked over to him and sat next to him. "You just know all your lines don't you?" I giggled. "Life is a movie." He said. I nodded. "But there never will be a sequal." He said sadly. I held his hand. He looked at them for a bit.

"As long as I have you, I should be fine." I say. He looked at me. "Me? Why would you want me?" He asked. I chuckled. "Because your lovable. Your neat. You could be caring and an ass when you want to be." I say. He laughed. "I can can't I?" He chuckled. I smiled."Your special. You wouldn't need me at all. Anyone who gets to have you is lucky. Your so lovable, I hate you right now. And you care about everyone but yourself. God you make me mad. Usually I'd expect you to be a little selfish but not a single sign of that in you."He said. I smiled. "Is that a good thing or a bad?" I asked a bit confused. "Both. You need to be a little about yourself sometimes not about me or anybody else." He said. "What are you saying?" I asked. "Exactly that. You are the best. And I wouldn't be able to put in words exactly how incrediable you are." He said and kissed my nose. I blushed. He smiled and played with my small hands compared to his. He looked up at me. I smiled and looked back at him. "Let's go for a ride.."
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~Ash♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥