Butterflies || MarkKit

CHP 39 || His Touch of Fire

●○● A/N: before we begin, I'd like to mention that this chapter contains mature content. if you are uneasy with sexual topics or similar, please skip over. however, if you're alright with it, you may continue. thank youuu! ^-^

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-Kit-

I honestly think I was too busy panicking to process whether Mark heard me or not. It's like everything in me had stopped. Completely. I couldn't even breathe just sitting there, staring at myself as if I didn't own this body. I felt angry, I felt overwhelmed, and moreover, I felt scared.

I know everything about sex and how the human body reacts when aroused. I know all of that, I'm a medical student after all. My education is vast in that department.

But my experience is none.

I am inexperienced, that I will admit to myself and never to anyone else. 

I don't even remember the last time I've ever gotten aroused. I'm not the type of person to go out of my way to get myself aroused, that is of course unless my own mind gets the better of me. But.. and I know it sounds stupid, I just never really have gotten the time. If it's not getting rid of occasional morning wood, I don't really go out of my way to chase any sort of sexual desire. I'm so ultimately focused on the one life goal that I've set for myself, I've never really wanted to explore any other paths. May that be courting, relationships, sex...

That, and the fact that most medical students don't really have the time for this. I know this ever since I enrolled in my major. 

I guess... that might have been one of the main reasons why I was never interested to date in the first place. I tend to go in small groups, not really attending gatherings or parties unless it's necessary. And because of my refusal into pursuing relationships, for the time being, I've never... really had an interest in anyone. I guess I really never gave myself a chance to even like anyone. If I were to like someone, I wanted it to happen in its own time without forcing it just because the society around us entitles us to. 

If it's not my heart wavering for someone, then my body or desires are the last thing that would waver for them instead. It was simply impossible.

At least, that's what I believed.

Not until now, as I'm looking at myself, my heart pounding in my chest out of pure fear and confusion. It feels foreign, it feels scary, it feels new. I don't even know if I'm in this situation right now, but I blink a few times and I know that- yes, I am. I am sitting here, with Mark's arms around my waist, and I'm sporting an erection right where he could see it if he looked down.