Butterflies || MarkKit

CHP 36 || A Look I Can't Fathom

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-Mark-

With all honesty, kissing Kit like this didn't seem real. I had to pinch myself once or twice in discreet. Strictly speaking, I just wanted to scream. Scream out from the pure fucking exhilaration and sudden happiness that chorused through my body at unbelievable speed. But maybe that wasn't the best move right now, for sharing the first kiss with Kit this morning, was already far too overbearing for my own mind to comprehend. 

"Let me look at you." I pleaded softly, after we had parted.

My heart was pounding so fast, so fast to the point I could barely keep my composure steady. Kit was looking at me now, as promised. But it wasn't a sight for the weak-hearted. For the way he was looking at me with so much surfacing need and desperation, was something to die for. His eyes were glassed over, and his pupils dilated. His lips were slightly red, matching the high blush staining at his cheeks, and I could barely hold his gaze, as I was distracted from how erratically but discreetly- he was trying to catch his breath.

Oh, Kit.

"You- you're making me go crazy." The words spilled out of me before I could stop myself, "...this is not..."

Never had I wanted to break my promise badly as I wanted to right now. All I wanted to do was to claim Kit's beautiful lips again, kiss him just enough to keep that pretty blush on his face, hold him close enough and caress the place where his dimples appear. Nothing else was on my mind. Nothing, not even how we got into this situation, to begin with. I didn't care. I wanted him right now. I didn't care why.

Kit was talking, but his words simply muddled through me.

"You said you just wanted to kiss me once, isn't this enough now? Will you stick to your promise?"

"Yes."

But I found myself making excuses, not even a few seconds later.

"It was too short."

"...You said you wanted me one last time, and then we can forget about it."

Then why do you look at me like this, Kit? Why do you look at me in a way that makes me lose my grip on my heart like this? Why are you looking at me like you want it again? Why are you holding me close, since the moment we parted, and you're pulling me in closer as we speak? Why Kit? Help me understand.

"You have to let go first." I whispered.

Please don't let me go.

I could see a flurry of panic and confusion spilling over Kit's face as he promptly released me, but he didn't move an inch to get away. His eyes searched for mine, as if trying to persuade me that it wasn't his doings.