fatal love

chapter 165

11TH MARCH 1980

Sirius was with Remus, getting ready to go to Godric's Hollow and help James and Lily baby-proof their house, when Benjy's Patronus appeared in front of them.

"Sirius..." it said, sounding slightly slurred, "can you... come over?"

Sirius' heart froze in his chest, and he immediately whipped round, looking for his wand. They couldn't have Benjy, not Benjy as well, no. That couldn't happen.

"Sirius-" Remus started to say, but Sirius didn't even let him finish before he had left, apparating straight to Benjy's house in Birmingham. He burst in, wand out.

"BENJY?" he shouted urgently, his wand shaking perilously in his hand. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

"In here..." a voice groaned from a room through the house. Sirius ran towards it, flinging the door open only to find Benjy lying on the floor, an empty bottle of vodka by his side and vomit all down his front. Not a Death Eater in sight.

"Oh, fucking hell," Sirius muttered to himself, rushing over and helping Benjy to sit up. "You fucking arsehole, I thought you were in trouble!"

Benjy only giggled incoherently. "Sorry," he said. "Needed your help."

"You do? What do you need?"

"Can't... can't get the telly to work."

Sirius cursed, vanishing the sick on the carpet and the bottle. "You can't call me like that, Benjy!" he snapped. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Benjy's eyes went misty. "I... I'm sorry," he sniffed.

"I'm supposed to be with Evans right now, not dealing with your drunk arse."

"You're going?" Benjy looked up at him with wide eyes, wet and sorrowful, and Sirius sighed.

"No," he said gently. "No, I'll stay. Course I will."

"Tha- thank you."

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

"Mm, okay. You're a... you're a good mate, Sirius. I... I'm so-" Benjy hiccupped, "I'm sorry I said that stuff. S'not you- your fault..."

"It's alright," Sirius said patiently, "you were upset. Just come with me, please?"

Sirius hauled Benjy to his feet and half-carried him to the bathroom, removing his shirt carefully and summoning another one.

"Don't gotta put that on me if you don't want," Benjy said, slurring his words and swaying from where he was sitting on the toilet.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't hit on me when you're plastered," he said. "You'll regret it in the morning."

"No I won't."

"Please don't be difficult," Sirius begged. "Just get yourself dressed."

Benjy frowned, his whole face shining with hurt. "You don't want me anymore?"

"Like this?" Sirius asked. "Honestly, no. The vomit on your breath and inability to form a complete sentence are both a bit of a turn-off."

Benjy moaned, leaning his head against the wall. "Doc always wanted me," he mumbled. "He said I could never be una... unattractive."

Sirius nodded, lifting Benjy's arms up and pulling the top over his head. "I know, love," he said, "I know."

Benjy sat there for a moment, then swallowed, a look of fear coming over his face. "I think I'm going to-"

Sirius didn't manage to move in time, and his shoes ended up getting drenched in another round of sick.

"Unghh," Benjy groaned, shutting his eyes, "I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm sorry, Siru- Sirius."